


The Blink of an Eye

by ZankieForLifeBaby



Category: Big Brother RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-05 05:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 42,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3108341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZankieForLifeBaby/pseuds/ZankieForLifeBaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can your life really change in the blink of an eye?</p><p>This fic is set in early 2018</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lost

Zach was pacing back and forth behind the couch in the living room of his and Frankie’s apartment. He paced for a solid five minutes before he sat on the couch again and put his head in his hands. He kept his eyes closed and focused on his breathing. After a minute he started counting the breaths to keep his mind from straying to other thoughts. He began breathing faster and faster and he could feel himself getting light headed before Tiger came around the corner of the couch and rubbed up against Zach. This pulled Zach out of his head for a minute and his breathing returned to normal as he reached down to rub Tiger behind his ears.

Zach got up again a minute later and walked to the kitchen counter. He pressed the button on his phone again. The screen lit up with a picture of Frankie smiling at him. Zach’s heart ached as he looked at the picture. He unlocked his phone and checked the call log again. Frankie had called at 11:04 pm to tell Zach he was headed home. It was 12:23 am now. It had been too long. It should’ve only taken Frankie 30 minutes to walk from Times Square to the apartment. Zach had even reasoned that if Frankie had stopped to pick up something to eat, he still would have been home in 45 minutes.

Zach stared at the obscene number of times he’d called Frankie in the span of the last 30 minutes. He’d left a message the first time. He’d tried to sound casual about it, but when he still didn’t hear from Frankie five minutes later he started to get really worried and he’d called again. The second message definitely sounded a bit worried. By the fifth message, Zach was certain he’d sounded hysterical. Zach sighed and pressed the button again. The phone rang five times before the automated voice messaging system picked up the call. Zach hung up. He picked up the phone and held it in his hand and he returned to pacing. Tiger had lain down on his bed by the coffee table and was watching Zach.

Zach’s mind was racing. He chided himself for being ridiculous and imagining the worst. Everything was fine. It would be fine. He was overreacting. So what? Frankie was 45 minutes late. It wasn’t a big deal. Frankie was a big boy and he could take care of himself. Frankie had been taking care of himself for years before Zach showed up anyway. It was February though and it was freezing outside. If something did happen to Frankie then it was too cold to stay outside all night, especially for Frankie. It had been freezing overnight for the last couple of days and it was expected to freeze again tonight. There was no reason for Frankie not to answer his phone. He said he was coming home. He wouldn’t have made any pit stops without telling Zach. Nothing made _any_ sense. 

Zach dropped back onto the couch and Tiger returned to his side. Zach set his phone down beside him on the couch. One of Zach’s hands dropped to Tiger’s head and he cradled his head in the other. What should he do? Zach was at a loss. He was angry for a second. He was sitting at home like a worried parent and Frankie was being irresponsible. How dare he not return his calls? What was Frankie doing? The anger disappeared into anguish when once again nothing made sense to Zach.

He thought about calling Joan. Joan was on the complete opposite side of the country though. Joan was with Ari who had a string of television appearances in Los Angeles to promote her new album. Zach really didn’t want to bother either of them right now. It was a really busy and a really important time for Ari. He didn’t want to be a bother when Frankie was only a little late. Zach checked his phone again. Damn, he was an hour late now. Zach knew checking the time would do nothing to alleviate his fears or his worry, but he couldn’t help himself.

Zach pressed the button to call Frankie again. The phone continued to ring and go to voicemail. Zach hung up again. He didn’t think another voicemail was going to make a difference at this point. He was certain he’d left far too many anyway. He dropped his head in hands. The horrifying thought of calling places to see if he was there crossed his mind. Should he start calling to see if there was a John Doe at any of the hospitals? Or, god forbid, at the morgues? Zach felt the tears sting his eyes. He’d held them back this long and he wasn’t really sure how he’d managed that. He tried to push the thoughts and the mental images that accompanied them outside of his mind, but it wasn’t working. He felt tears streak down his cheeks.

Zach sniffed a little and wiped his face. He stood up again and started pacing. It was so late, but he didn’t really care. He had to talk to someone. So he dialed the number he’d never forget.

His mom answered, her voice heavy with sleep, after four rings. Zach had started to panic that no one would answer the phone. When she answered, he let out a deep breath of relief that at least someone was answering his calls.

“Zachary, what? Why are you calling in the middle of the night?” Jill asked. Her voice was a little hoarse, but she seemed to be waking up.

“Mom. It’s Frankie. I can’t find him,” Zach said. He felt his voice cracking at the end of the sentence. He took a deep breath and tried to gather himself. 

“What do you mean honey? Did you have a fight? Did he leave?” Jill asked.

“No, nothing like that Mom. He was on his way home over an hour and a half ago and he’s still not here. He should’ve been here over an hour ago. His phone just rings. There’s no answer…” Zach answered, his voice trailing off at the end. Zach could feel the tears returning. He dropped to the sofa once again. He stared at the door, willing it to open.

“Oh, honey. You don’t know that anything horrible has happened yet. I wish I could be of more help. Maybe you should call the police? Or why don’t you call Joan?” Jill said. She felt bad for not being able to comfort her son. She didn’t want to give him false hope. Even she thought the situation didn’t sound good. She also didn’t have any way to help him all the way from Florida. While she wanted to stay on the phone with him, she knew it was better for him to call Joan right now.

“I didn’t want to bother her with this. She's so busy with Ari right now. They have a lot going on…” Zach answered.

“Honey, she would want to be bothered by this. Call her. If she doesn’t answer, call Ari. Call them until you get one of them on the phone,” Jill instructed. Zach nodded as she spoke.

“Okay, Mom. Thanks. I’m going to call them now. I guess I’ll call you tomorrow,” Zach said.

“No, sir. You call me when you know something okay. I’m worried about you. I’m worried about Frankie too. Keep me in the loop baby boy. I’m sorry this is happening. I wish I were there with you to help. I love you,” Jill told him.

“I love you too Mom. I’ll let you know when I find him,” Zach said. He tried to sound more hopeful than he was. Each passing minute was like a dagger. Zach was certain something was wrong. Nothing else made any sense.

Zach and Jill exchanged quick goodbyes and Zach dialed Joan’s number. Fortunately it was only 10 pm in LA, so she was probably still awake. Zach silently thanked the time zones for being on his side for once.

The phone rang twice before Joan answered, “Zach!” She was cheerful. Zach felt bad for what he was about to drop on her, but he knew he had to do it. 

“Hey, Mama Grande, I, um, I don’t know how to say this. I can’t find Frankie. He called and told me he was coming home but that was almost 2 hours ago now. He should have been home well over an hour ago. His phone just rings. There’s no answer. I’ve called, a lot,” Zach rambled. He caught himself and stopped, waiting for Joan to answer.

“Oh my. Well, maybe you should call the police? Hold on a second dear,” Joan said. He could hear her telling someone that Frankie was missing and soon Ari was on the phone.

“Zach, do you know the password to his apple account? Maybe you can track his phone?” Ari asked.

Zach sighed before he said, “I don’t. I might be able to figure it out though. I’ll try. You can help me. Between the two of us maybe we can get in.”

Zach put the call on speaker as he grabbed Frankie’s computer and pulled up Frankie’s apple account. The username was autofilled on the web page, but the password wasn’t saved. They both came up with various passwords that Zach tried.

After Zach and Ari had come up with about 10 passwords with different variations of capitalization and number arrangement, Zach finally figured out the password. Zach shouted when it finally logged him in, “I’m in. I’m in!”

Zach was silent for a minute when he clicked on the find my iPhone app. He held his breath as it searched for Frankie’s phone. Zach silently thanked the universe that he knew Frankie’s phone was still on so that the GPS could find his phone.

Zach felt like he was going to pass out as he waited for the map to pop up. Finally, the map came up and showed a tiny dot where Frankie’s phone was. It was way on the west side of town. Zach zoomed in on the map. It was at 68th and York. Zach was a little confused and said, “The phone is at 68th and York. What’s over there?”

Ari said hold on before Joan was on the phone again, “It’s a hospital Zach. New York Presbyterian.”

Zach stopped listening. It took a minute for it to sink in. Frankie’s phone was at a hospital clear on the other side of Manhattan. How had it gotten there? Was Frankie hurt? Certainly Frankie must be hurt. Zach was on his feet with the realization. He ran to find shoes. He grabbed the first ones he found just inside the door to his and Frankie’s room. He grabbed his coat and was almost out the door when he remembered he’d dropped his phone on the couch. It wouldn’t do him any good to leave his phone here. He ran back to the couch and he could hear Joan saying his name.

Zach picked up the phone and said, “Sorry. I’m leaving now.”

Joan’s voice was calm when she spoke, “Zach. Keep calm. Just get a taxi to the hospital. Go to the emergency room and ask if anyone has come in fitting Frankie’s description okay. You can do this. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?”

Zach had locked the door and was bouncing on his feet waiting for the elevator. He considered taking the stairs, but their floor was so high up that he was sure the elevator would be faster. He just hoped it would hurry up. He felt the tears sting his eyes again.

He’d waited too long to answer Joan so she said, “Zach, honey?”

Zach quickly answered, “No, no. I’ll take the taxi and I’ll call you when I figure out what is going on. I’ll be okay. I want some time with my thoughts. I’m getting on the elevator now anyway. I’d probably drop the call. I’ll call you as soon as I know anything, I promise.”

“Okay. Talk to you soon. We love you,” Joan said.

“I love you both,” Zach answered as he ended the call.

The ride down on the elevator was painfully slow. Zach wiped his face and tried to calm himself down. At least he had something to do now instead of pace around the apartment. When the elevator doors opened, he walked briskly to the lobby doors and started yelling for a taxi as soon as he set foot on the concrete outside. He stepped into the street and it took less than a minute for him to stop one. He got in the back and told him to go to the ER of the New York Presbyterian Hospital at 68th and York. He added, “Please hurry.” His voice cracked on the last word, but he hoped the cab driver hadn’t noticed.

He sat back in the taxi. His mind was racing with horrible thoughts and he tried to block them out. He tried to focus on his breathing again. It wasn’t working very well. He closed his eyes and he could see Frankie gliding around the apartment earlier this morning as he was getting ready for the day ahead. He felt the faint ghost of Frankie’s lips against his as they’d kissed goodbye this morning and he could hear Frankie saying goodbye on the phone just a few hours ago. Zach sighed and slouched forward. He hung his head while the fingers of his right hand were twirling the platinum band on his left ring finger around and around. It was one of his nervous habits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that I won't do anything horrible. Let me know what you think. Should I keep going? Or forget it?


	2. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say your life flashes before your eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the great response! I hope I continue to do it justice!

Zach basically felt like he’d been in the cab for an eternity feeling his soul be ripped apart by doubt before he’d arrived at the ER. He’d barely managed to keep himself from throwing up as he recounted his story to the first nurse at the ER desk. Then he’d had to recount it again to another nurse who apparently was in charge of the ER, or at least the patients who came in by ambulance. Zach had basically been a ball of anxiety and an incredible amount of terror as he waited for someone to tell him if Frankie was there—and more importantly, in what state. 

Fortunately, the second nurse seemed to take pity on him and he saw her eyes soften when he described the tattoo on Frankie’s left arm to her. That seemed to do it. She slowly explained to him that, yes, in fact, they had a man in the ER that fit Zach’s description, including the tattoo. Her face was solemn as she spoke and Zach felt the fear suffocate him as he waited for her to tell him what was going on. He couldn’t move at that moment and he was grateful he’d been asked to sit when he started talking to her. He wasn’t sure he could’ve remained on his feet as he felt himself brace for the worst. It was only a few seconds while she gathered her thoughts before she spoke again, but Zach had enough time to ponder the thought of the ground opening up and swallowing him right where he sat. He thought that would be easier than hearing whatever this nurse was going to say to him.

She sighed and reached her hand out to touch Zach’s forearm that was resting on the table in front of him. He looked down at the touch, slightly dumbfounded. She said gently, “Frankie’s been pretty badly hurt. He was found a few streets outside of Times Square. An eyewitness to the incident called for an ambulance. According to this eyewitness, Frankie seemed to be surrounded by a group of men who had cornered Frankie against a wall. As the witness approached the group, he heard some shouting and saw the men push Frankie away from them as they fled the scene. Apparently, Frankie was pretty hurt and lost his balance at the time as he stumbled into the street. He was hit by a car, but fortunately the car was able to slow down quite a bit to avoid a worse collision. Frankie has a few broken bones and sustained quite a blow to the head when he fell. He is down in one of our trauma bays right now as the doctors are assessing his status and obtaining many tests and images to determine what the next best step is.”

Zach knew his mouth was open in horror. He could feel the sting in his eyes and the hot tears streaming down his cheeks. He could taste the salt in his mouth as a few tears tracked to the corners of his mouth. He couldn’t really focus on anything but the feeling of his heart being strangled.

The nurse spoke again and said, “We consider him to be stable, but his condition is fairly critical.”

Zach’s mind struggled with the statement. She’d said stable, but she’d said critical. Zach couldn’t quite make the two words fit together in his mind. How can you be stable and critical? His mouth was dry and his heart was beating rapidly. He reminded himself slowly that she never said the word dead or the word dying. So Frankie was alive. There was at least that.

Zach choked out, “Can I…see him?” His voice cracked on each word. The nurse smiled at him sympathetically and she said, “Not while he is in the trauma bay, but when the doctors have finished their initial assessment, yes. Then we’ll have some paperwork for you to fill out as we change his chart from a John Doe to Frankie, okay?”

Zach didn’t even process the question. He just nodded. He’d agree to anything that allowed him to see Frankie—the sooner the better. If things took a turn for the worse and he never got to see him, he would never get over it. The nurse stood up and asked Zach to wait there. Zach considered following the directions, but he figured why change now? He’d always broken the rules before. He had to see Frankie and they’d already let him past the “authorized personnel only” doors. When she left, he managed to get some control over himself and look out the doorway of the small consultation room he was in. He could see numbers hanging from the ceiling. He assumed they indicated the beds in the ER. He slowly walked down the hallway, feigning confidence. He walked towards the large desk in the center of the action. When he looked past the desk he could see a number of larger rooms with big glass doors and glass walls. One room had a lot of people in it.

He approached the room, still walking with confidence and doing his best poker face, which admittedly wasn’t very good, before he got a few yards from the door. Suddenly, a woman in khaki scrubs was talking to him. He could hear her calling him sir and asking where he was going, but he didn’t pause for a second as he kept walking. He supposed there was a level of morbid curiosity involved at this point, but he didn’t care. He had to see him. He was certain that seeing Frankie, no matter the condition, would help loosen the stranglehold on his heart. He just needed to be able to breath fully for a minute and he thought that Frankie was the only solution to that problem. Finally, he was close enough to see the man lying on the bed at the center of the chaos. He saw his hair first. It was distinct. He knew it was Frankie from the hair alone.

He knew it only took seconds, but he felt like everything moved in slow motion as he moved his focus down Frankie’s face. He saw numerous bruises over his face and a doctor on his right was placing stitches on the right side of his head. There was blood on Frankie’s face; it appeared to be coming from his nose. It wasn’t until he reached his lips that Zach allowed himself to take note of the tube sticking out of Frankie’s mouth. The tube led off to some machine on the side and Zach noticed the perfectly rhythmic rise and fall of Frankie’s chest. Zach figured it must be a ventilator. He’d seen them in movies before, but never in real life. The tears were streaming again, but Zach kept looking as he noticed the bruises on Frankie’s chest. Frankie’s left leg was so scraped up and bruised with a slightly odd angle to it. He figured this must be one of the broken bones that the nurse had talked about. Zach backed up to the nearest wall and slid to the floor, his head in his hands.

Suddenly, he felt hands on his shoulder. He looked up and saw the same woman he’d heard trying to get his attention earlier. How long ago had that been? Five minutes? Thirty seconds? Zach wasn’t sure. He could see her lips moving, but he couldn’t comprehend them. His mind was racing and his heart was beating out of his chest. He was breathing too fast again. He could feel himself getting light headed. The woman dropped to crouch in front of him and look directly into his face. It forced him to focus. He finally made out the words as she said, “Sir! Are you okay?”

He wasn’t okay. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be okay again if Frankie didn’t recover from this. He looked up and nodded anyway. His mind wouldn’t form words. She grabbed his hands and helped him stand again. She put a hand on his shoulder and tried to direct him away from the room Frankie was in. He resisted and said, “No.” It was a little more forceful than he had intended, but it did the trick. She looked at him again and said, “I’ll gladly escort you wherever you need to be. Who are you looking for?”

Zach turned around and pointed at Frankie. A look of understanding dawned on her face as he took two steps towards the glass wall that allowed him a view of Frankie. She tried to restrain him by holding his arm, but he easily pulled away. She slowly said, “Sir, you shouldn’t be back here. We only allow family back here and even then, no one should watch while the trauma team works.” She was trying to dissuade him. It wasn’t working. He held up his left hand and said numbly, “He’s my husband.” He stepped closer to the glass and put his palms flat against the glass. He watched the heart monitor that was up and to the left of Frankie. He saw the tracing jump for each heartbeat and Zach felt like his heart was beating in time with it. That was his salvation, that was what he should focus on, he told himself. As long as that heart beat, so would his. 

The woman in the khaki scrubs stayed next to him. Clearly he couldn’t be trusted to behave according to any rules. Zach heard her call for someone on the radio on her hip, but he didn’t pay attention to the words. 

After a minute, the nurse that had been talking to him earlier reappeared and the woman in khaki left. She carefully put her hand on Zach’s shoulder and asked if he was okay. He shook his head. He was grateful that she didn’t scold him for disobeying and searching the ER on his own. He could feel the tears drying on his face. His face felt sticky, but he kept his eyes on the heart monitor. Slowly, everyone seemed to be leaving the room. 

The nurse stopped a man in green scrubs as he was walking out of the doorway. He had a white coat in his hand. Zach’s attention was drawn to the stark whiteness of the coat. He heard the nurse say, “Dr. Hawthorn, this is Mr. Grande-Rance. He is John Doe’s husband. John Doe is actually named Frankie.”

The doctor nodded at the nurse and thanked her for the information. She patted Zach on the back and turned to walk away. Dr. Hawthorn gestured for Zach to follow him into Frankie’s room. Zach followed him in. His feet felt like they were made of lead. It took a lot of force to keep them moving. Dr. Hawthorn asked Zach to sit in the chair that was along the wall. He did as he was asked and looked up expectantly at the doctor. 

Dr. Hawthorn pulled another chair up and sat across from Zach before he spoke. “So, I assume that Jane filled you in on the back story of how he ended up here.” It was a question. It took Zach a second, but he nodded.

Dr Hawthorn continued, “From the imaging and tests we’ve done thus far, he definitely has a concussion. Internally the damage is not as bad as it looks from the outside. I don’t expect there to be any major brain damage. He does, however, have a collapsed lung on one side. We placed a chest tube to help with that. He wasn’t breathing as strongly or regularly as we would like, so he is currently sedated with a ventilator. I do not expect the ventilator to be a long-term thing—maybe a few days. The next thing that will likely happen is surgery to repair his broken leg. There is a break of both bones of his lower left leg. The bones are slightly angled and will require pins to keep them in place. The orthopedic surgeon should be in later this morning to assess him, make final arrangements, and answer any questions you have before surgery.”

Zach just nodded. He was doing his best to remember the words he was being told, but he could feel them slipping away as soon as they were said.

Dr. Hawthorn continued, “He is stable right now. His condition is serious and he needs to be closely monitored in case something goes wrong. He will be moved to the ICU within the hour. You may remain with him. I will be back in a few hours during rounds and I can explain things again. I know it’s hard to take it all in right now.”

Zach nodded again. He choked out, “Thank you.” Dr. Hawthorn nodded and shook Zach’s hand as he turned to walk out.

Zach stood up and pulled his chair to Frankie’s side. Zach reached out to Frankie’s hand that was resting on the bed. He touched him hesitantly at first. Frankie’s hand was cold. This was nothing new, but Zach felt an overwhelming urge to warm it as he took Frankie’s hand in both of his.

Zach dropped his head to the bed, never letting go of Frankie’s hand. He could feel it warming up as he held it tightly in his hands. After a few minutes, he pulled Frankie’s hand up to his own cheek and enjoyed the familiar sensation of the slightly cool touch. He smiled up at Frankie. He was so relieved to have found him. Even though things were definitely precarious at the moment and he wasn’t sure what exactly was happening. He knew one very important thing: he was with Frankie. It didn’t even matter if Frankie couldn’t interact with him; his mere presence was soothing for Zach. Zach stood up and leaned over Frankie, avoiding all of the leads, tubes, and other various wires that he was doing his best to ignore. Zach pressed his lips to Frankie’s forehead and said softly, “I love you. We’ll make it through this.”

Zach returned to his seat and suddenly felt exhausted as the night caught up with him and his adrenaline was completely drained. He put his head down on the edge of the bed, but he kept Frankie’s hand in one of his. He allowed his eyes to close, but his phone was beeping at him from his pocket and Zach remembered that he had been ignoring his phone for the last few hours as he’d tried to get his brain to catch up to reality. He sighed at the conversations he should be having, but decided to put them off with a text he sent out to Joan, Ari, and his mom. His text said: “He’s at NY Presbyterian hospital. Seems he was mugged and then hit by a car. He’ll be moved to the ICU. The doc called him stable. I’m with him now. He’s not conscious. I’ll know more in a few hours. I’ll call after that with full explanations. I’m going to close my eyes until the docs come by. Love you, Z.”

With that, Zach silenced his phone and put it back in his pocket. He kissed the back of Frankie’s hand and returned his head to the side of the bed. He closed his eyes and noticed the lack of turmoil in his brain for the first time all night. His thoughts were no longer jumbled; they were focused and linear. He was determined to be there for Frankie and that allowed him to shut down the chaos. He felt himself drifting to sleep and while he thought maybe he shouldn’t, he couldn’t fight it anymore. Right before he fell asleep, his mind replayed the last time he’d been in the hospital. It was just a year ago when he’d had to have his appendix removed. He smiled to himself as he pictured the goofy looks and funny characters Frankie had done for him to keep him entertained in the dreary hospital room. Zach tightened his grip on Frankie’s hand and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me. Trust me? I promise the next chapter will have at least something happy, if you still want a next chapter after this...


	3. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Until you're back in my arms, I'll be waiting up, counting the stars.

_The door shut and Zach instantly felt Frankie’s arms wrap around his waist. Zach pushed Frankie back against the door of his bedroom. They were in Florida, in the Grande's house. Frankie was kissing Zach’s neck and Zach said in a low growl, “This room does things to me.” It was entirely true. They’d had many important times in Frankie’s childhood room. This was the room where Zach first confessed his true feelings. They’d had their first kiss on that bed. Zach loved this room—almost as much as he loved Frankie._

_Zach remembered why he’d brought Frankie in there in the first place and carefully extracted himself from Frankie’s grip. Frankie whined and Zach pulled him by the hand with him. Zach sat down on the edge of Frankie’s bed. Frankie sat in Zach’s lap, wrapping his arms around his neck. Frankie said, “So if we’re not going to, you know…why did you bring me up here?”_

_Zach smiled and pecked Frankie’s lips. His hands were resting on Frankie’s waist and he had planned what he wanted to say, but his mind was racing and he couldn’t keep his thoughts or feelings straight. Everything was bubbling to the surface at once. He did his best to focus on the plan._

_“Well, Ari’s Halloween party got me thinking about last year and how I’d finally told you how I was really feeling,” Zach said quickly. It didn’t come out as smoothly as he’d wanted. He’d wanted the words to flow and sound beautiful. He thought it sounded clunky and awkward, but he couldn’t change it now._

_Frankie smiled at him and nuzzled his head against Zach’s neck. “Yes, my love, can you believe that was only a year ago? Look at us now. On this day, last year, I was a nervous ball of energy just pacing my apartment, wondering what would happen when you came to my opening show the next night. It’s kind of surreal to think about now,” Frankie mused._

_“Exactly,” Zach said. He was kind of relieved that Frankie was filling in some of the gaps for him. Zach continued, “I was nervous as hell too. After baring my soul and kissing you all Halloween night, I was scared you would change your mind.”_

_“That’s ridiculous! Besides, clearly, I didn’t,” Frankie said with a smirk. Frankie kissed Zach’s cheek and smiled at him sweetly._

_Zach slowly pulled his hands from Frankie’s waist as he grabbed Frankie’s hands instead. Frankie interlaced their fingers and Zach smiled at the gesture. “It’s been an amazing year, Frankie. I didn’t think I could ever love anyone as much as I love you. I feel like we’re connected on levels that aren’t even understood by the human race. It’s like you said to me, in the house, we’re inextricably linked. I never want to be away from you. I need you in my life everyday for the rest of my days.”_

_Frankie was smiling at Zach. Zach could see the tears gathering in his eyes. Carefully, Zach moved Frankie off his lap and moved off the bed. He reached in the pocket of his cargo shorts and produced a small black box as he dropped to one knee in front of Frankie. Frankie’s face transformed from an adoring stare with glistening eyes to one of elated shock as he forgot to control his face and the tears fell. Zach’s heart was beating out of his chest. He felt like he was going to pass out when he could barely breath. He was as nervous as he’d ever been in his whole life._

_Zach opened the box, displaying the shining platinum ring with small diamonds set in the metal all the way around the band. “Frankie James Michael Grande Marchione, will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?” Zach finally asked._

_Frankie launched himself at Zach, knocking them both onto the floor. Frankie kissed Zach fiercely. He pulled back to look into Zach’s eyes. They were a beautiful green tonight and Frankie felt like he could lose himself in the depths of those eyes. “Yes, a million times YES!” Frankie breathed as he rested his forehead against Zach’s. “I love you,” Frankie stated as he held his hand up in front of Zach, waiting for him to put the ring on._

Zach awoke with a jerk of his head when there was a loud knock at the door. He felt the pain of the stiffness in his neck travel down to his shoulders and he tried to roll his neck back and forth to loosen the tension. It took him a minute to remember where he was, but the rhythmic beeping coming from somewhere on his right helped remind him that he was not at home. He was in a hospital and Frankie lay in front of him, broken and vulnerable. Zach closed his eyes for a second, wishing he could go back in time to the memory that he’d been reliving in his dream. It was futile though.

The door swung open and a man that he didn’t recognize walked in. He was also in green scrubs and wearing a white coat on top of that, just like the doctor he’d met the night before. The man introduced himself as Dr. Wilson, the orthopedic surgeon that would be taking care of Frankie. Zach introduced himself and was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as Dr. Wilson started to explain what exactly was wrong with Frankie’s leg. Zach sat back down next to Frankie and reached out for his hand. It was surprisingly warm. Zach figured he must have slept on it all night. He’d only slept for a few hours, interrupted by a walk to the ICU. The whole night was a little hazy.

“Does that make sense, sir?” Dr. Wilson asked.

Zach looked at him with surprise. He hadn’t really listened. He felt guilty. He considered just saying yes, but he figured it was best that he understood what was going on with Frankie so that he could ensure he was getting the best care. Zach said, “No, I’m sorry. Can you explain it again?”

Dr. Wilson nodded and motioned for Zach to come to the computer on the wall. Zach reluctantly dropped Frankie’s hand and stood next to Dr. Wilson who pulled up Frankie’s X-rays. Zach could clearly see the break. There was a slight, but noticeable angle to the break and he could see a gap where they failed to meet like they should. Dr. Wilson pointed out where he would be placing a metal plate on each bone. He would screw the plates in place to hold the repair together and ensure the bones healed correctly.

Zach listened more attentively and although the surgery sounded somewhat barbaric, he understood why it was necessary when he looked at the images. Zach felt satisfied as Dr. Wilson left the room. He’d gotten all of his questions answered, and they would be taking Frankie to surgery in just a couple hours. Zach resumed his position, hunched over from the chair to the bed, with Frankie’s hand tightly in his own. He closed his eyes, hoping to return to the happier memories in his head, but thoughts of Frankie’s surgery prevented any sleep.

So he didn’t really do much but watch Frankie’s chest rise and fall or his heart monitor jump with each heartbeat. It was oddly soothing at this point. The noise of the ventilator and the beeping of the machines formed a melody that was becoming far too familiar. Zach was gazing at Frankie’s face, memorizing the arch of his cheekbones, when Dr. Hawthorn returned. Dr. Hawthorn kindly explained everything that was going on again. Zach was grateful. He’d managed to actually remember the information he was given this time.

Zach was suddenly alone when they took Frankie to the OR. His eyes were bloodshot and stinging. His head was a little foggy from the lack of restful sleep. He was staring at the wall. It was a waiting game. Thinking about Frankie downstairs in surgery kind of made Zach sick. Sure, he’d had plenty of surgeries of his own that were pretty intense, but this was Frankie. This was a million times worse.

Zach sighed and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He hadn’t looked at it since he’d sent an update text last night. He’d been avoiding it, but he knew this was the best time. He was kind of dreading this part. He wasn’t sure how Joan or Ari would react to everything. Frankie had always been the dependable one for them and for Zach.

Zach swallowed and checked his phone. Surprisingly, he didn’t have any messages other than brief, but encouraging, responses acknowledging his previous text. He assumed they were trying to give him some space. Plus, it had been really late in California when he’d sent the text. He decided he should start with Joan first. If he was lucky Ari would be with her and he’d only have to recount the story once. He swallowed and pressed the button. He didn’t have a plan to explain it all, but he was too tired to over think anything at this point.

Joan answered after the first ring. “Zach! Honey, are you okay? We’ve been so worried about you and Frankie. I hope you got some sleep,” Joan said. Her words were a little faster and higher pitched than normal, but she was staying calm. Zach was grateful.

Zach ran his fingers through his hair and paused for a deep breath before he answered, “Hey Mama G, yeah, I’m fine. Really, I’m fine. Frankie is the same. He’s actually in surgery to repair his broken leg right now. The surgeon assured me the surgery was routine for him. Otherwise there’s been no changes, but I thought I should fill you in on the whole story.”

Joan seemed to let out a deep breath. Zach was certain she’d braced herself for bad news and was not allowing herself to believe that Frankie was, in fact, stable. He was okay. Well, at least for right now he was. Joan asked Zach to wait a second. He hoped Joan was getting Ari. He really didn’t want to have to tell them separately. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to make it through the story twice and he still had to call his mom too.

Fortunately, when Joan returned she informed him he was on speaker so Ari could hear as well. Zach recounted everything that the kind nurse had told him last night about what had happened to Frankie. Joan and Ari listened quietly, but he could hear a muffled cry when he explained how Frankie had ended up walking into the street. It sounded like Ari and Zach felt his heart break a little more. It was the worst feeling. No one should ever have to do this, Zach thought to himself.

He moved on with the story and told them what Dr. Hawthorn had said. Dr. Hawthorn had been hopeful, but was careful to remind Zach that just because things were good now, it didn’t mean they couldn’t change. Zach tried to emphasize the positives that Dr. Hawthorn had said. When he’d finished, it was Ari who spoke quietly, “Zach? How are you? This is horrible. Frankie has a team of doctors and you. I know he’s getting the best of every care possible. Who’s taking care of you?”

Zach felt a tear fall from his eye. This isn’t what he expected. He didn’t want to talk about himself. He didn’t want to talk about how he felt a hole in his heart that wouldn’t be filled until Frankie was awake and talking to him again. He didn’t want to talk about how he felt like a part of his soul had been ripped from his body and was floating just out of reach while all he could do was wait. Most of all, he didn’t want to dwell on these feelings, so he lied. “I’m okay, Ari. I got a few hours of sleep. He left for surgery almost 45 minutes ago and the surgeon said it would only take about 90 minutes, so he’ll be back soon. I’ll be okay. I can call AJ if I need anything. You should do your appearances Ari. I’ll keep you updated,” Zach promised.

“Oh no, mister. Don’t think you’re going to get away with that. I’ve already cancelled everything in LA. We’ll be in New York later tonight. You’re not doing this alone and I won’t be away from my brother right now,” Ari said. Zach smiled at the sassy tone. It was familiar and comfortable. He felt himself smirk and he liked the feeling. It felt normal. Zach would give anything for normal right now.

Ari and Joan told Zach not to worry about them. They would be landing and coming directly to the hospital. He gave them the room number and they said goodbye. Zach was a little relieved. He was still determined to be Frankie’s rock through everything, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to that could actually talk back.

He felt pretty emotionally drained after that conversation, but he figured there was no point in delaying the call to his mom. Jill answered cautiously, “Hey sweetie. How are you?”

“I’m fine Mom. I’m just worried, but I think that’s normal. He’s in surgery right now to repair his broken leg. I’m waiting for them to bring him back. It’ll be another 30 minutes or so,” Zach said. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. His mom’s voice was reassuring. He hated to admit how much he still felt so much better when she told him everything would be okay. That’s all he wanted right now. He felt like a small child. He supposed that feeling would never subside. Everyone would always want their mother’s comfort.

He could hear his mom take a breath before she said, “It’ll be okay baby boy. Do you want me to come up there?”

Zach shook his head slightly to himself and then remembered he had to actually say the words, “No Mom, it’s okay. Joan and Ari are coming. You don’t need to come. Really, I’ll be okay.” He was lying again. He wanted her to come more than anything, but he didn’t want to be an inconvenience. He was an adult. He could take care of his husband without his mother’s assistance.

“It’s not a question of whether I need to come, Zachary. I asked if you want me to come,” Jill said.

Zach didn’t say anything for a minute. He was trying to figure out what to say. Jill took the silence as an answer and said, “Okay, I’m booking a flight now. I’ll text you to let you know when I should be there. I’ll take a taxi from the airport to the hospital. I’ll see you soon. Please, son, get some sleep. You sound horrible. I know it’s hard. Trust me, I know. I didn’t sleep for a good two days when you had surgery to repair your face, but it really will help. I promise,” Jill said.

Zach managed to thank his mom and say goodbye before he let out a broken sob. He had to pull himself together. He didn’t want to break down in front of his entire family. He was going to be the strong one this time. He was determined, but he was alone right now so he allowed himself to cry. After about ten minutes, he’d pretty much exhausted his ability to cry. His eyes burned. He used the tissues sitting on the windowsill in the room to dry his face. He returned to his chair and pulled out his phone again. He found a game on his phone and played it. It was mindless. He was grateful for the distraction. 

He’d been playing the game for about 10 minutes when he could see a bed rolling down the hall. It was Frankie. Zach felt his heart lighten as he saw him again. The surgery must have gone well. Zach felt relief.  He hadn’t even realized how the stranglehold on his heart had returned until it loosened. Zach stepped aside to let the nurses reattach the monitors. Dr. Wilson had been following and spoke to Zach briefly about the surgery. Everything had been fine. There were no complications and he expected Frankie’s leg to recover just fine. Zach thanked him and after a flurry of activity, suddenly everyone was gone again.

Before he could sit back down again, there was a knock at the door and a nurse he didn’t know peeked her head in. She explained that she had a different chair for Zach. She wheeled it in. This chair was much bigger and looked a lot more comfortable. She showed him how the seat folded out so that it was more like a lounge chair. She moved his old chair to the corner and positioned this chair to sit parallel to Frankie’s bed. Zach thanked her. The new chair really was much more comfortable. 

Zach was able to sit back in the chair, put his feet up, and still hold Frankie’s hand in his. He looked over at Frankie, admiring the profile of the man he adored. He ran his thumb back and forth over the back of Frankie’s hand. Zach closed his eyes and sighed to himself as he felt his world slowly realigning. Everything was always so much clearer when Frankie was near. They were clearly two halves of a whole and each other’s true compass in life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the beginning! I wanted to break up the sadness a little bit! Let me know what you think. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, commenting, etc! I really hope this chapter lived up to the previous ones!! (Sorry it took a little longer to write this one.)


	4. Support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family: A group experience of love and support.

The sun had been down for a few hours. It was quiet in the halls of the ICU. The nurses were quietly working at their computers and there were no flurries of activity in any of the patients’ rooms. The calm was soothing and somewhat reassuring as Ariana and Joan made their way to the room number Zach had given them early this morning. 

Ariana slowly opened the door to the designated room and whispered, “Zach?” There was no response. She opened the door enough to slip inside and Joan followed. They walked around the edge of the curtain and saw the two men, each asleep. 

Zach looked like a rag doll. He was laying in the chair next to Frankie’s bed with his head hanging down and a little towards his right shoulder. There was a pillow stuffed between his shoulder and the armrest, but his head didn’t quite make it there. His right arm was stretched out across the armrest towards Frankie’s hand. His fingertips were resting on the back of Frankie’s left hand. Zach’s left arm was lying across his chest with his hand tucked into his side and out of view in the hopes of keeping it warm. Zach’s left leg was bent over the armrest of the chair. His left foot, covered in a blue sock, was dangling in the air. His right leg was lying on the extended chair, with his knee slightly bent and pointing at Frankie. His right foot was covered with a green sock.

Ariana and Joan exchanged glances and silently agreed to let Zach sleep. Joan held up her finger to indicate she would be back in a minute. As Joan stepped out, Ari stepped up to the empty side of Frankie’s bed and took his hand in hers. She leaned up to kiss his forehead and whispered, “Hey big bro. We came to make sure you’re all right. Also, I want you to know that I promise to take care of your guy while you cannot. I love you.”

Joan returned a minute later and held up a blanket. Ari took it from Joan and made room for Joan to stand next to Frankie. While Joan took Frankie’s hand and whispered a few words to him. Ari moved to the other side of the bed and opened the blanket and spread it over Zach as best as she could. Ari picked up the chair in the corner and brought it over to her mom. Ari stepped out and then returned with a second chair. The two women made themselves comfortable sitting next to Frankie’s bed. They alternated holding Frankie’s hand and holding each other’s hand as they sat quietly for a few hours.

It was past midnight when Zach started to squirm in his chair. He seemed like he was trying to get comfortable, but very suddenly he opened his eyes wide and sat up looking down for Frankie’s hand. He grabbed it again before he noticed Ari and Joan sitting on the other side of Frankie. Joan appeared to be asleep with her head resting in her left hand, which was propped on the armrest of her chair. Ari had her phone in her hand, but she was looking up at Zach. 

Zach’s face showed surprise for a second and then softened at the women in front of him. He smiled softly at Ari who returned the smile. Zach pulled the blanket off of himself and sat up, gesturing for Ari to come over there. She got up and Zach folded his legs so that Ari could sit on the extended part of the fold-out lounge chair. She sat across from him but leaned over to hug him. The warm, gentle contact made Zach tear up. He was upset with himself for tearing up again. He thought he’d gotten it out of his system. He held her tighter and longer than he’d intended to. A tear fell from his face into her hair and he quickly wiped his face when they pulled apart. Ari’s eyes were glistening with tears too. Zach found himself looking at those familiar eyes. He felt intense longing as the eyes began to look too much like Frankie’s eyes. He looked down. Ari took one of his hands in hers and said, “It’ll be okay, Zach. I know he’ll get through this. You and I will be here waiting and helping him as he does. Okay?”

Zach nodded at her. He asked about what she was going to do about her album promotion and Ari starting talking about discussions with the label and Scooter and all sorts of other things about her album. Zach was relieved to talk about something else. It felt nice. Zach did his best to focus on Ari’s words and it helped him break away from the cycle of fear, worry, and hope he’d been running through repeatedly over the last day or so. 

Eventually the conversation stalled and Zach offered the chair to Ariana. It was much more comfortable to sleep on and Zach had just slept for quite a few hours. He was feeling half way rested again. She tried to refuse the offer, but Zach insisted. Ari laid down on the chair and Zach moved to her abandoned chair. He reached out for Frankie’s hand and leaned over the bed again, resuming the familiar position. There wasn’t really anything else for Zach to do. He didn’t want to play with his phone. He didn’t want to do anything that he could do. All he wanted to do was talk to Frankie. He couldn’t do that. So he would wait by Frankie’s side, holding his hand, until he could. 

Zach didn’t sleep, but he didn’t actually think about anything either. He let memories pass through his mind, one after the other. They felt too real and he relived each one with joy and a pang of sadness every time he remembered his current reality. They were dancing in the Big Brother house. Frankie was jumping into his arms in the jury house. They were laughing and joking at the first Grande Halloween party he’d attended. They were constantly returning to each other’s side at a party at Frankie’s apartment when he visited NYC. Zach was kissing Frankie in a cab. They were walking down central park with their hands linked. Zach was watching Frankie cook dinner. Frankie was pulling Zach into their bedroom. Frankie was jumping up and down in excitement as he showed Ari his engagement ring. Zach was teaching Frankie how to play golf. Frankie was teaching Zach new dance moves. Zach stood behind Frankie with his chin on Frankie’s shoulder and his arms wrapped around Frankie’s waist as they watched Ariana sing from the side of the stage. Frankie was whispering into his ear that he loved him in the middle of the dance floor at their wedding. They were cuddling with Zach as the big spoon and Tiger curled at the end of the bed. Zach was kissing Frankie goodnight for the thousandth time even though it still felt like the first. 

Morning approached slowly with rays of sunshine falling across Frankie’s face. Zach checked the time and figured that Dr. Hawthorn would be by shortly to discuss the plan for the day and what was going on with Frankie. He was anxious to hear more. He tried to keep himself from hoping that they’d finally give Frankie the chance to wake up today. He didn’t want to deal with the disappointment if that wasn’t part of the plan. 

Zach had started pacing when Dr. Hawthorn knocked lightly on the door and entered. Joan and Ari woke up when Zach rather loudly said his name. Zach introduced Dr. Hawthorn to both women and then Dr. Hawthorn discussed Frankie’s condition. Everything was still stable. Dr. Hawthorn said they would be taking an x-ray shortly and if his collapsed lung had improved like he hoped, they may be able to remove the chest tube and begin weaning Frankie from the ventilator today. Dr. Hawthorn promised to return this afternoon to reassess and update them.

Zach felt his heart soar at the possibility of weaning Frankie from the ventilator. Zach wanted to talk to Frankie more than anything in his life right now, but Dr. Hawthorn had said ‘if’ and Zach tried to tamper down any hopes he had. He would believe things when they happened. For now, everything was stable and potentially improving. That would have to be enough for now. 

Joan offered to go get breakfast for everyone when Zach’s stomach let out a particularly loud growl. He hadn’t really eaten in the last 24+ hours and he was in no position to argue with her offer. As Joan was getting ready to leave, Zach suddenly realized that in his stay at the hospital and all of the overwhelming events that had happened, Zach had entirely forgotten about Tiger and everything else he needed to take care of. When Zach said this to Joan, she laughed quietly and patted his shoulder. “Zach, honey, I’ve taken care of it. I called Doug and a few of your other friends. All of Frankie’s credit cards have been cancelled and all of the appropriate people have been contacted. Plus, Doug is taking care of Tiger. Don’t worry about anything,” Joan said. Zach smiled at her and nodded. He was a bit embarrassed that she’d taken care of all of this. He was a grown man, he should have done it himself. However, he couldn’t deny that he was grateful that she’d thought of all of these things when he’d clearly forgotten.

As Joan left, the x-ray technician arrived and the x-rays were taken. Shortly after that, a respiratory therapist came in to adjust Frankie’s ventilator settings. The therapist reported that the x-rays were promising and that they were changing the settings to allow Frankie to initiate breaths on his own with ventilator back up ready, if necessary. She reiterated that Dr. Hawthorn would discuss the situation again with them later. 

Zach fought any urge to be hopeful about these changes. He desperately wanted to avoid dealing with disappointment. He was sad now, but he didn’t want to deal with feeling even slightly better if he might be pulled deeper into despair like he’d felt on the first night. So Zach sank down into the empty chair by Frankie and pulled Frankie’s hand up to his face again. It was cool against his skin. Zach liked it. He closed his eyes and stayed that way for a minute. Ari sat next to Zach and watched him. She’d never seen Zach be this caring. It tugged on her heart in a way that she couldn’t explain. Sure, she’d seen plenty of affection between them and she knew Zach loved Frankie, but the way he was so delicate and loving with him now was indescribable.

Ari rested her hand on Zach’s shoulder and it seemed to bring him back to reality. He dropped Frankie’s hand from his face and back into his hands as he turned to look at her. He smiled softly, swallowed loudly, and said, “You know, we hadn’t told anyone this, but I think he’d be okay with me telling you.” She looked at him expectantly and nodded her head gently at him. Zach continued, “We were talking about having a baby. You know we’ve almost been married for a year and a half and we thought it might be time to expand our little family. We hadn’t decided if we would adopt or look for a surrogate yet, but we were talking about it. We were even discussing names sometimes.”

Ari felt herself tearing up, but she did her best to hold it back. She rubbed Zach’s shoulder for a bit and then moved to put her hand on top of both Zach and Frankie’s. She smiled at Zach and said, “I think you two would be the best parents that any child could ever have. I can’t wait for you two to have a baby of your own. I will spoil it rotten and enjoy my Auntie status far too much. It will be an absolute blast and I can’t wait to witness all the love and joy that baby will be surrounded by.”

Zach smiled at her and they hugged. Zach wasn’t sure why he’d told her. He didn’t know why it seemed so important to say. He just had to say something. Maybe he wanted to ground their future into reality. If he said the words, maybe it would help them come true. This uncertainty about Frankie was getting to him and he just wanted firm answers. Waiting to see if he would be allowed to come off the ventilator was stressful and it made Zach want to tear his hair out if he thought about it too much. Maybe he’d used this conversation for a distraction, but it didn’t really matter. It made him feel better, at least for a minute.

Joan returned about an hour after she left. She was carrying far too much food for the three of them, but Zach was more than grateful. They ate in silence. Joan turned on the TV for some background noise. Zach hadn’t even noticed the TV in the room before she was looking for the remote to turn it on. 

About an hour later, Zach’s phone buzzed. It was a text from his mom. She was at the hospital and making her way to the ICU unit. Zach stepped outside of the room and waited in the hall for her. She walked calmly up to him and opened her arms. He gratefully accepted her invitation and held her close. He could smell her familiar scent and it was comforting. He loved his new family in Joan, Ari, and the extended Grande family, but nothing could replace his mother’s hugs. The hug lasted for a long time. Zach honestly couldn’t say how long it was. He didn’t really care. When they broke apart, Jill put both of her hands on his face and said, “Zachary, I’m so sorry. I know this is hard, but it will get better. Okay? I believe that and you should too.” He nodded at her resolutely. He wanted to believe her more than anything. He had a nagging doubt and he wished it would disappear.

He led the way back to Frankie’s room and Jill, Joan, and Ari greeted each other warmly. It was nice to watch his family mix together. Things hadn’t always been great, but for the last two years, things had been really nice with their families. Everyone was getting along and they were supportive of one another and especially of Zach and Frankie. It made Zach’s heart warm when he thought about it. Everyone had really come a long way in the last few years. It was a bit mind boggling if you thought about it too much, so Zach tried not to.

The afternoon passed easily with more chatter happening in Frankie’s room now. The girls talked—a lot. Zach was mostly quiet. He sat holding Frankie’s hand for most of the day. He watched Frankie’s chest rise and fall and the numbers on the ventilator changed occasionally. He wondered what it all meant. He desperately wanted to know if Frankie’s breathing was doing the things they wanted to see. He was stuck in a waiting game and it sucked.

The knock on the door was soft, but Zach had been waiting for it for what felt like an eternity. He quickly looked up and saw Dr. Hawthorn coming through the door. Zach took a deep breath to brace himself. He told himself that he could handle it if they weren’t ready to wake Frankie up today. He told himself that it would just be another day. He told himself that everything would be okay. He tried to believe all of that. He tried to force himself to be okay with whatever came out of Dr. Hawthorn’s mouth as he stared at the man in the white coat and green scrubs that was holding all the cards and showing very few. The moment felt like it stretched out forever as Zach squeezed Frankie’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed some actual human interaction for Zach. I really wanted him and Ari to have this reciprocal desire to take care of each other without Frankie. 
> 
> Bear with me guys. I think you will all really enjoy the next chapter! Thank you so much for reading, commenting, etc. I really appreciate it!!


	5. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I walk down memory lane because I love running into you.

Zach was alone. The doubt felt like birds pecking away at his hope. He looked up at Frankie’s face. Nothing. He looked down at his hands again. He was sitting on Frankie’s left. His hands were resting on the edge of the bed. He held Frankie’s hand off and on. He could hear the tick of the clock on the wall. He wondered if that sound had always been there? He assumed it must have been, but it was way louder now. He glanced up at the clock. It had only been a minute. He shook his head trying to clear the thoughts that were piling up and turning his mind into a junkyard. It didn’t work.

It had only been an hour since Dr. Hawthorn had been there. He’d come with good news. He believed it was time to give Frankie the chance to wake up. He called it a “sedation vacation.” Before he could do that, though, he had removed Frankie’s chest tube and left to consult with the respiratory therapist who would be back to lighten the sedation, which would allow Frankie to wake up. They wouldn’t actually remove the tube until he was awake and they were certain he could breathe adequately on his own. Zach was excited for the amount of time it took him to process the words. Then he was terrified. What if he didn’t wake up? What if he did and things went badly? Just because Frankie woke up didn’t mean they’d let him stay awake if he still needed the ventilator. The thought of getting him back to only have him taken away again was paralyzing. A million scenarios ran through Zach’s head in just the two seconds immediately after Dr. Hawthorn left the room.

Joan, Ari, and Jill were excited about the news. They were chatting happily and Zach couldn’t stand it. He felt like it was his life hanging in the balance. No matter how much he loved the women in the room with him, he couldn’t be around anyone right now. It took a lot of willpower for him to remain calm and work his charm. It would be easy with his mom. If he asked to be alone when they woke Frankie up, she would allow it. It would be harder with Joan and Ari. After all, Frankie was just as much their family if not more so. He broached the topic carefully. As he expected, his mom had no problem allowing Zach time alone while he waited for Frankie to wake up. Joan had nodded resolutely. It was almost like she expected the request. It was surprising to Zach, but he was incredibly thankful. Ari had opened her mouth to protest. She barely got out the word ‘but’ before Zach had his puppy dog eyes on and was mouthing the word ‘please’ to her. The desperation and the desire for some solitude were very real on Zach’s part. Ari reluctantly agreed. "You're lucky you're cute," she told him.

They’d left shortly after the respiratory therapist had returned to adjust the ventilator settings again. Zach had hugged each woman as they left the room. Joan and Jill offered words of encouragement. Ari’s hug lasted a little longer. It was tense at first and then she relaxed into the hug. She reminded Zach to be patient like Frankie would be before she kissed Zach's cheek and was the last to walk out. The nurse lowered the amount of sedation being delivered to Frankie. She warned that he would still be a little sedated, so he would probably be groggy when he woke up. ‘If he wakes up’ Zach thought to himself. The thought was unbidden. He was angry with himself for allowing it to cross his mind. He tried to cast a net over his fears in an attempt to pull them down to the depths of his brain, but he wasn’t sure it was working.

Now it had been two minutes since the respiratory therapist left. He’d been warned it would take ‘a while,’ but no one had bothered to give him even a guess at a length of time. Zach turned away from the clock again and watched Frankie’s face. It was hard to look at Frankie’s face right now. He found himself second-guessing every play of the light against his skin. He wanted so desperately for Frankie to wake up. Watching for signs of movement on his face was just torture at this point, so he abandoned that plan once again.

Zach looked straight down at Frankie’s hand. He saw the tan line on his ring finger that outlined where Frankie’s wedding ring had been. Zach had been avoiding that fact. He hadn’t seen Frankie’s wedding ring since he’d arrived at the hospital. He had just assumed that Frankie’s attackers had taken it too. Besides, Zach didn’t want to dwell on that particular missing item. It made his heart ache. He realized he was once again twirling his own ring around his finger. He pulled the ring off. He slid it onto Frankie’s empty ring finger. It was too big. That wasn’t a surprise. Frankie’s hands were smaller than Zach’s. Zach had always loved that, even if Frankie didn’t really like the look of his hands. Zach laid his hand over Frankie’s, enjoying the familiar coolness.

After a few more seconds, Zach removed his ring from Frankie’s hand. He didn’t want to lose his ring too. Before he put it back on, he rolled the ring in his fingers, reading the inscription that he hadn’t read in many months. Inside the band it said ‘No words can describe my love for you. –Frankie’ in plain lettering that took the whole circumference of the band. Zach smiled at the memory. Frankie had said this to him many times over the last few years. The first and arguably the best time, was as Zach had been trying to remove Frankie's shirt in the kitchen of the Big Brother house. Zach was chuckling to himself quietly now. They had been an utter mess in that house and Zach wouldn’t take a second of it back now even if he could.

Zach returned the ring to its rightful finger and he lost himself in his memories. His eyes glazed over as he looked down at Frankie’s hand.

_Zach was pacing. He was in Nonna’s room, getting ready. He had the tux on and he was just adjusting his bow tie in the mirror. It was the same bow tie Frankie had given him just over 2 years ago when they'd been forced to separate for the first time. His mom came around the corner and started fussing with the bow tie. He tried to resist, but only minimally. He figured it was better for someone else to fix it, even if it couldn’t be Frankie. Peyton was hanging out around the corner. He was texting on his phone. Apparently, in the time that Zach had been living in New York, Peyton had gotten himself a girlfriend. She was sweet and they were cute together. She was outside, seated in one of the fold out chairs arranged in the backyard of Nonna’s house._

_“Pizzle, stop flirting with your girlfriend and come help your brother get married,” Zach shouted. Peyton laughed and came around to help Zach arrange his cuff links. Zach smiled at his brother and tousled his hair a little bit. “Keep it PG little broski,” Zach warned with a smirk. Peyton blushed, but nodded at Zach._

_Zach’s dad entered the room a minute later and asked, “Are we ready? Everyone is in place.”_

_Zach nodded and said, “Let’s do this!” Zach was nervous. He felt like he had the equivalent of a million butterflies battling for dominance in his stomach. He was doing his best to keep it together. Really, all he needed was to see Frankie. He knew that as soon as he saw Frankie, the rest of the world would disappear and he’d be centered again. There was only one person in the world that could do that. Right now, he was in his childhood room, hidden from Zach’s view. Earlier Zach had tried to sneak his way into that hallway, but Ariana had caught him and shooed him away. Zach tried to look contrite, but he had enjoyed the mischief._

_Zach was the last one to walk out of Nonna’s room. As he did, he could see the collection of people in the backyard. They were all facing away from him. It had ended up being a rather intimate wedding due to their choice of location. It was mostly family with their closest friends and a few other pivotal people in their life. There were a few ‘famous’ people there, but Zach had long moved past the stage of being star struck._

_Zach followed Peyton out of the back doors. He took a minute to close his eyes and try to calm himself down. It didn’t work very well, but he was at least focused enough to remember the directions he’d been told the day before at rehearsal. He was to walk down after Peyton and stand at the altar. Frankie’s family would enter after him. Zach watched, feeling somewhat detached as the music started to play. His mom and dad went first with their arms linked. Peyton walked down by himself after that. Then it was Zach’s turn. He was slightly frozen to the spot when everyone’s eyes turned to look at him. He liked being the center of attention, but this was a little intense. He swallowed and walked down the aisle. It felt like the walk took forever. His heart was beating out of his chest and he felt like he was sweating. He wasn’t nervous about getting married; it was just all of this formality and pageantry that was accompanying it. He would have been happy to elope, but he knew Frankie wanted something more than that, and Zach would give him anything he wanted. Zach took his place next to Peyton and turned to look back up the aisle._

_The song changed to signal the switch from Zach’s family to Frankie’s. Nonna walked down the aisle first, escorted by Sean. They sat next to each other in the front row, leaving a spot for Joan. Next came Ari. She walked up to the altar and winked at Zach before taking her place on the other side. Finally, Zach looked up and he could see Frankie. Joan was on his arm as they started walking down the aisle. Zach felt the world brighten and the colors sharpen, as everything looked clearer around him. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Frankie’s face as he made his way toward him. It was perfect. Zach hadn’t realized how amazing it would feel to watch the man he loved walk towards him with the intent of linking their lives together forever. Zach silently thanked Frankie for wanting a real wedding._

_Frankie kissed Joan’s cheek as they parted at the front row. Frankie walked up to Zach and took both of Zach’s hands in his own. Frankie winked at him and Zach felt himself go a little weak in the knees. It was amazing what this man could do to him. Frankie squeezed Zach’s hands three times in quick succession. It was a code they’d used before when they were in public. Three squeezes meant ‘I love you.’ Zach returned Frankie’s squeezes with four of his own. It was how he said ‘I love you too.’_

_The ceremony passed in a blur for Zach. He said the words he was told to and Frankie did the same. Zach was a little dazed at how beautiful Frankie looked. He was always beautiful, but today, he quite literally glowed and sparkled. It was beyond anything Zach had ever seen before. When it came time for them to read their own vows, Zach fumbled in his pocket for the piece of paper he’d finally written some words on last night. Zach went first. He said, “Frankie, you were everything I never knew I needed. I am beyond fortunate that I found you in my life and that you were willing to wait for and want me too. I’m in love with your patience, your kindness, your grace, and your shine. You bring so much light to my life everyday and I could never live without it. I promise to cherish you and love you everyday for the rest of my life. I love you, I promise.” Zach watched as Frankie’s eyes were tearing up, but he fought the urge to wipe the tears away._

_Frankie cleared his throat and began to recite his vows. He didn’t need any notes and Zach smiled at this. Of course Frankie had memorized his vows. He wouldn’t be Frankie if he hadn’t rehearsed this to perfection. For the first time in the ceremony, Zach was able to focus on the words being said at and around him. Frankie said, “Zachary, no words can describe my love for you, but I will try. You are exhausting, in every way possible and it’s amazing. I was broken and I had walled my heart off before I met you. I wasn’t certain I was worth loving in the way you love me. I am absolutely enamored by your boundless energy and your amazingly contrite when-you-want-it-to-be face. I love how at the end of the day with you, I am completely spent in everyway possible. I live my life to the fullest with you. It’s an experience that I wish everyone could have. I promise to stand by your side for the rest of my days with an incalculable amount of love and adoration. I love you.”_

_It was perfect. Zach was floating on a cloud, watching the two of them as they exchanged rings and they were pronounced as lawfully wedded. Zach didn’t wait for permission to kiss Frankie. Instead, he reached out and pulled him close, pressing their lips together as soon as he could. The crowd had giggled at his eagerness, but Zach didn’t care. The way that Frankie had kissed him back with his hands wrapping around Zach’s neck, Zach knew Frankie didn’t care either._

_They’d walked down the aisle together, back towards the house. Zach had continued walking past their designated stopping point and pulled Frankie back into Nonna’s room. Once behind the closed door, Zach had kissed Frankie insistently. He deepened the kiss. Frankie returned the kiss, moaning softly before pulling away and insisting they take pictures before his make-up was ruined. Zach smiled ruefully, but nodded in agreement. Before Frankie could open the door, Zach grabbed Frankie’s hands and held them. He said, “I have a surprise.”_

_Frankie looked up and smiled. He looked excited. Zach could hardly contain his excitement as he slowly worked Frankie’s ring off of his finger. Frankie had insisted they use the engagement ring that Zach had bought him as his wedding ring instead of getting a new or additional ring. Zach had been okay with that, but he wanted to do something special for Frankie. After Frankie had accidentally let it slip that Zach’s ring would be engraved inside, Zach knew what he would do. When Zach had the ring off, he held it up so Frankie could see the inscription inside his ring. It simply read ‘I love you, I promise. –Zach’ in a delicate typeface. Frankie’s eyes teared up again, and this time Zach wiped away the tears as they fell softly from Frankie’s eyes. Frankie kissed him softly and told him he should read his inscription. Zach did as he was told and then placed his forehead against Frankie’s with tears in his eyes as well. It was absolutely perfect. They were perfect. It was everything and more._

Zach wasn’t certain it was real the first time it happened since he hadn’t been focusing. The second time it happened, he knew it was real. Frankie’s fingers were moving. He looked up expectantly and was rewarded with Frankie’s eyes partially open. Zach stood up so he could see Frankie better. He said Frankie’s name and Frankie opened his eyes more. He looked at Zach. Frankie’s eyes looked tired and they didn’t have their usual sparkle. Zach tried to remind himself that he was just waking up from sedation. For a horrifying second, he felt like Frankie was looking right through him. Zach panicked and wondered if maybe Frankie didn’t remember who he was. Fortunately, it only lasted a split second because he felt Frankie’s fingers reaching for his hand that was just on the edge of the bed. Zach grabbed Frankie's hand and Frankie’s eyes softened. Zach felt Frankie squeeze his hand three times. The tears were instant and spilling down Zach’s cheeks as he squeezed back four times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, did you all like that?? Do you want another chapter??


	6. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best dreams happen when you're awake.

Frankie’s mind had started racing when he’d woken up. Zach’s voice had helped to center his thoughts. Zach looked like a total mess. There were bags under his eyes, his shirt was beyond wrinkled, and his hair didn’t have the usual appearance it got after Zach fixed it twenty times in the mirror before he left the house. Frankie’s heart ached for him. He had no idea how long he’d been asleep, but he knew that it had taken a toll on Zach. He squeezed his hand in the code they’d used before so that he’d know how much he loved him. When the tears began to fall from Zach’s eyes, Frankie wanted nothing more than to wipe them off of his face.

Zach’s tears were blurring his vision as he tried to look at Frankie’s face. He used his free hand to wipe his eyes quickly. Frankie’s eyes were searching. They looked up and down Zach’s face, seeming to look for an answer to a question he couldn’t ask. Zach wasn’t sure what the question was, but he could do his best to answer something.

Zach squeezed Frankie’s hand again and felt his heart soar when Frankie squeezed back. Zach stepped a little closer to the bed and moved upwards so that he was nearer to Frankie’s head. He continued to hold Frankie’s hand and tried to explain the situation to him. He said, “It’s okay babe. Everything is going to be okay. You were mugged and then somehow you ended up getting hit by a car, but the damage isn’t so bad, okay? They had you on a ventilator for two days, but they might take you off of it today. Nothing is irreparably damaged, okay? It’s all okay.”

Zach felt like he’d done a shit job explaining things. He wasn’t sure what Frankie remembered about the accident and he didn’t want to bring back memories that would upset him if he did remember everything that had happened. He also didn’t want to scare him, even if Zach himself was still scared. He was trying to be optimistic because he knew Frankie would be optimistic. Zach cursed himself for continuing to ask Frankie questions when he couldn’t answer them. Saying ‘okay?’ didn’t make everything okay…especially when Frankie couldn’t respond.

Zach quickly added, “I love you, Frankie.” Frankie squeezed Zach’s hand four times and Zach felt like his heart was going to fall apart. It hurt in a way that was too good to describe properly. He wondered how Frankie could handle all of this so well? Zach was certain if he was the one lying in that bed right now, he’d be pulling at all of the tubes and lines connected to him and tearing at his hair with impatience. Frankie wasn’t Zach. He knew that. It really should be no surprise that Frankie was behaving rationally.

Zach leaned over and kissed Frankie’s temple. “I’m going to call the nurse, so they know you’re awake,” Zach said as he pressed the call button. Zach sat down in the chair again. He was still holding Frankie’s hand, but Frankie pulled his hand free. Frankie reached his hand out for Zach’s face. Zach moved the chair so that it would be easier for Frankie to reach him. Zach felt the cool touch on his cheek first. Zach closed his eyes. The touch was electric. It sent a shock through Zach’s body and rested in his chest. He felt like his heart was on fire. Frankie caressed Zach’s cheek and then he started rubbing Zach’s ear. Frankie had done this in the past whenever he’d tried to calm Zach down. Zach leaned into the touch, enjoying the comfortable familiarity. Zach was fighting to hold the tears back. It felt like the weight on his shoulders was slowly dropping away. He felt like his spirit was getting lighter. It felt amazing, but a little scary. Even though it had only been two days, he’d gotten used to the weight.

Finally, Frankie started to run his hand through Zach’s hair. It all felt so wonderful and incredibly intimate to Zach. He was so grateful he’d asked to be alone with Frankie. There was nothing that could compare to this moment. Zach dropped his head onto Frankie’s lap and he felt Frankie’s other hand start to play with his hair as Frankie’s left hand went back to rubbing his ear. Zach stayed there, unmoving, eyes closed as he let Frankie comfort him. He felt some tears escape, but they disappeared as they hit the blanket below his head and he didn’t care anymore. He couldn’t care about anything other than the sensation of Frankie’s hands slowly taking the pain away.

Frankie remembered most of what had happened to him that night on his way home, but he wasn’t going to think about that now. All that mattered was that he’d woken with his husband by his side, ready to comfort him, when Zach was clearly the one who needed the comforting. Now, with Zach’s head in his lap, Frankie felt an inner peace. He knew that things must have been pretty bad to put him on a ventilator, but he was awake now and he was determined to stay awake for Zach. He would do everything in his power to be there for Zach while Zach tried to be there for him. It was a funny dynamic, and Frankie could feel the corners of his eyes wrinkle as if to smile to himself. Frankie rubbed Zach’s ear and enjoyed the feel of Zach’s thick hair between this fingers. It wasn’t just comforting for Zach, it was incredibly calming for him too.

The nurse came in after another minute. She saw the two men, one stroking the others hair as he rested in his lap. She cleared her throat gently and Zach sprang to his feet. Zach wiped his eyes quickly and said, “Uh, he’s awake.”

The nurse nodded at Zach. She walked over to inspect the vitals on the monitor connected to Frankie. She asked Frankie to squeeze her hand twice and he did. She reminded Frankie not to pull at any of the tubes or lines and he gave her a thumbs up. The nurse informed them that she would call both Dr. Hawthorn and the respiratory therapist to come evaluate Frankie. She told them that it would probably be about 10 minutes before they would arrive.

When the nurse left the room, Zach sat down in the chair again. He reached to hold Frankie’s hand and Frankie interlaced their fingers. It was quiet in the room. Zach wasn’t sure if he should talk to fill the silence, or just let it be. It was kind of out of character, but Zach opted for the silence.

Frankie liked the silence. It was reassuring to have Zach there by his side. He didn’t really need anything else. They had been together for over three years and they had met almost four years ago, and nothing about their relationship ever felt old or boring. Frankie was just as madly in love with Zach as he’d been all those years ago. He wasn’t sure at what point he fell in love with Zach, but it was definitely in the Big Brother house, even if he’d been terrified of his feelings at the time. Zach was constantly entertaining and always hated to be bored. It kept Frankie on his toes, and sometimes Zach went a little too far, but these were all things that Frankie loved about him. Frankie watched Zach hold his hand and he could’ve been perfectly content to watch him all day until he noticed the tan line on his own ring finger.

Zach ran his thumb around the back of Frankie’s hand for a while, just looking up at Frankie’s face. Frankie was looking back at Zach. His eyes were soft and Zach felt like he was something to be adored and worshiped. Frankie gave Zach this feeling a lot and it was incomparable to Zach. Then Zach noticed Frankie’s eyes were glassy and tears were pooling in the corners of his eyes.

Although he had tried to resist it, Frankie’s mind was running through his memory of that night. He remembered the men asking for his wallet. Frankie had given it over without a second thought. He didn’t want a fight. He thought that would’ve been the end of it, but they started shouting at him for something else. They were demanding any jewelry that Frankie was wearing. The chain around his neck wasn’t valuable and Frankie was a little confused because when the guys had originally cornered him, they’d pushed him into the wall and he’d hit his head pretty hard. Frankie was slow moving and didn’t move to grab the chain fast enough apparently. He remembers being hit multiple times after that before they’d finally taken it from around his neck. Frankie couldn’t remember the rest, but he knew he’d been wearing his gloves, so he didn’t understand why his ring was missing.

Zach was startled by the change and quickly moved to put his hand on Frankie’s head. Zach began to run his fingers through Frankie’s hair. Zach asked, “What’s wrong Frankie? What’s wrong?” before he realized that Frankie couldn’t answer him. He clenched his jaw, angry with himself, but Frankie didn’t seem upset.

In fact, Frankie was reaching for Zach with his hand and Zach moved to grab Frankie’s hand again. Before he could grab Frankie’s hand, Frankie was grabbing Zach’s ring finger and he tugged on Zach’s wedding band a little bit. Zach watched, but he didn’t know what to say. He looked up at Frankie with bewildered eyes. Frankie pulled on his ring again and then Frankie used his right hand to point to his own empty ring finger on the left.

Zach understood. Frankie was asking where his ring was. Zach’s heart dropped to his stomach. He didn’t want to answer this question, especially when Frankie couldn’t actually talk or move much beyond his hands and arms. Zach dropped his gaze a little. He took a deep breath before he spoke. He said, “Your ring? You want to know where it is? Honestly, baby, I don’t know. I haven’t seen it since I got here.” 

Frankie took a second and he squeezed his eyes shut. Tears fell down each side of his face. Frankie felt his heart squeeze too tight and it hurt. He was pretty sure the men hadn’t taken it. He knew it had to be somewhere, but he had no idea where and no way to communicate with Zach. He was feeling a little frustrated. He was angry with himself for crying and tried to tell himself to keep it together. The ring could be replaced if it was gone, right? He tried to convince himself that was true. It had to be true if Zach was telling him he didn’t know where it was.

Zach felt so small. He was annoyed with himself for not at least asking about the ring and for not getting Frankie another one or something in the last 2 days. It was kind of a ridiculous thought, but he didn’t care. He felt horrible. Frankie shook his head, just a little bit and Zach looked up curiously. Zach told Frankie to squeeze his hand once for yes and twice for no.

Zach said, “Do you remember being mugged?” One squeeze.

He continued, “Did they take your ring?” Two squeezes.

He asked again, “Are you sure?” One squeeze.

Zach shook his head and sighed. He hadn’t seen the ring. He honestly didn’t remember seeing any of Frankie’s stuff since he’d been at the hospital. In the ER, Frankie’s shirt and pants had been cut off. Zach had seen a nurse throw them away. Zach wondered if the ring had somehow ended up with Frankie’s clothes and he felt like a bucket of ice water had just been thrown on him. He did his best to remain calm as he tried to remember more of that night. It had been such a blur and he’d honestly tried to forget it. He remembered seeing Frankie’s phone after he’d asked why they hadn’t called him or answered Frankie’s phone any of the times he’d called before he finally located the phone at the hospital. They’d shown him how the screen of the phone was so cracked and smashed that you couldn’t see anything that was on the screen. It was just jumbled light shining through a thousand cracks.

Suddenly Zach remembered what they’d done with Frankie’s phone. They’d put it in a bag that was labeled with Frankie’s name. A nurse had put it under Frankie’s bed. When they’d moved rooms to the ICU, Zach had barely been conscious enough to walk, but he vaguely remembered a nurse putting the bag in the closet. It was a long shot, but maybe there was something in the bag. Zach said, “I have an idea. Let me check…” his voice muffled at the end as he already had his head in the closet, bending over to get the bag. 

The bag was on top of Frankie’s coat. He put his hands in the coat pockets and then set the coat aside on the chair. He began to take the items out of the bag, one by one. There was a phone, then a glove, then Frankie’s scarf, then another glove. Zach looked in the bag, and a glimmer at the bottom caught his eye. He could hardly believe it. The ring had been there the whole time. He just hadn’t actually looked for it. He’d been too afraid that it was gone to actually look for it. He supposed he couldn’t handle any more bad news so he’d put off knowing for sure that the ring was gone, when that hadn’t even been the case.

Zach couldn’t believe how lucky he was that the ring was there. Why hadn’t the men taken it? He’d have to ask Frankie and that would have to wait for a little while.

Zach held up the ring. The tears were still falling from the corners of Frankie’s eyes and down the sides of his head. Zach wiped them away and said, “I got it. See? I said it would all be okay.” Frankie flipped Zach off and Zach started to laugh. It was a genuine and loud laugh. Zach hadn’t laughed in so long. It felt amazing. Of course Frankie could make him laugh at a time like this.

Frankie loved watching Zach laugh and for a minute, the sparkle in Frankie’s eyes returned. It was amazing how Zach’s laugh, after all this time, always soothed his soul. After a minute, Zach composed himself and grabbed Frankie’s left hand. He held the ring up so Frankie could see it again, then he slid it on Frankie’s ring finger again. As he did, Zach said, “Frankie, you are mine. Always.”

Frankie lifted his hand and pointed at Zach’s heart then his own as if to say ‘you belong to me.’ Zach smiled at Frankie and kissed his forehead before sitting down in the chair again. Frankie was using his right hand to feel his wedding ring until Zach reached for Frankie’s hand. Once again, they linked their hands, fingers entwined. Zach leaned over to kiss the back of Frankie’s hand. Zach thought to himself, together, we could make it through anything. Zach was about to voice this thought to Frankie when there was a knock at the door and Dr. Hawthorn and a new respiratory therapist that Zach didn’t recognize walked in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked it! I wanted some levity at the end and I also really wanted Frankie to get his ring back. Also, fun fact, I wrote the ear rubbing thing before the 54 Below show last night! I just remembered Frankie doing it once in the house!
> 
> Let me know how you liked it. More?
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and all of the great responses to the last chapter!!! It's amazing that so many of you are enjoying this story.


	7. Hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want to be your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.

Zach jumped out of his chair when they walked in. He was surprised and certainly anxious. Zach was still holding Frankie’s hand in his own. Dr. Hawthorn approached Frankie while the respiratory therapist had moved over to the ventilator. She appeared to be checking the numbers on the display panel. Zach squeezed Frankie’s hand and said, “I’m just going to move over here so that Dr. Hawthorn can do what he needs to, okay?” Frankie squeezed back and Zach dropped his hand then quickly walked to the corner of the room. He could see what was going on, but he was trying not to pay attention. The anxiety he was feeling was threatening to eat him alive and he was trying not to feed into it anymore than he had to.

Dr. Hawthorn and the respiratory therapist were saying a few things to Frankie and talking to each other. Zach caught snippets of the conversation each time his efforts to block it out faltered. They asked Frankie to do a few things and then he heard the respiratory therapist spouting off a bunch of technical terms like respiratory rate, tidal volume, and something called peep. Despite himself, Zach smiled a little at the last one. He thought about how there was something called peep that had to do with a ventilator. How silly did that sound?

Zach’s hand was twirling his wedding ring again. Zach didn’t even realize he was doing it until he felt a hand on his forearm that brought him back to reality. He’d gotten so lost in his own mind that he had become completely oblivious to what was actually happening around him. Dr. Hawthorn was saying something that Zach, once again, was failing to process. Zach looked up and said, “Sorry, what?”

“I think maybe you should step outside. We’ve completed our tests and we’re going to give Frankie a chance to come off the ventilator…” Dr. Hawthorn said, his words continuing to drone on. It was more like a buzzing in Zach’s ears at that point. He didn’t make out individual words after he heard that they would take Frankie off of the ventilator. His heart was beating rapidly; he could hear the blood rushing in his ears. He was thrilled about this news, but he didn’t know how to react. He stood still, feeling his body react while his mind tried to catch up.

Dr. Hawthorn put a hand on Zach’s shoulder and was guiding him to the door. Zach moved his feet. He looked up and over at Frankie. He looked the same. Nothing had changed in the time Zach had tried to keep himself together instead of splitting at the seams from all of his nervous energy. Frankie, who always seemed to know what Zach needed, gave it to him again. As he glanced at Frankie, Frankie gave him a thumbs up. Zach nodded once and seemed to regain control of himself as he walked out of the room.

Zach was thankful for the curtain that blocked the view into Frankie’s room. He moved just a foot away from the door and rested his back against the glass wall of Frankie’s room. He rested his head back against the wall and exhaled. Zach found himself counting tiles on the ceiling. It was probably a better use of his time than anything else right now he thought to himself as he counted tile number twenty three.

Inside the room, Frankie was listening to Dr. Hawthorn’s instructions. He was being instructed to cough to help expel the tube. Frankie had given them a thumbs up to indicate that he understood. He watched, the best that he could, as the ventilator was turned off and various things were unhooked from him. Finally, Dr. Hawthorn said they were ready. Frankie did as he was told and tried to cough when Dr. Hawthorn instructed him to. It only took a second before the tube was gone and being discarded. Frankie felt like his throat was on fire. It was really sore. He swallowed and the sensation felt strange. It was a bit unnerving for Frankie, but he tried not to let it bother him. Dr. Hawthorn was back at his side and asked Frankie to say his name. He did. The words were hoarse and speaking had really made Frankie’s throat hurt worse. Dr. Hawthorn smiled and nodded. The respiratory therapist had put a nasal cannula on Frankie to deliver some oxygen. Dr. Hawthorn reminded Frankie that his throat would be sore but that it was okay for him to talk, if he wanted to.

Dr. Hawthorn and the respiratory therapist were in Frankie’s room for about 5 minutes while Zach stood outside. He’d counted all of the ceiling tiles he could see and had started counting the tiles on the floor while he was waiting. He had just counted number sixty-seven when Dr. Hawthorn exited the room followed by the respiratory therapist. She walked to the computer next to Frankie’s room and started typing. Dr. Hawthorn turned toward Zach and said, “We’ve successfully removed the breathing tube and after a few minutes of observation, Frankie seems to be breathing well on his own. He will be closely monitored by Laurie, the respiratory therapist this evening,” Dr. Hawthorn gestured to the woman on the computer, “I will see you all again in the morning. I expect that everything will go fine overnight. He will have a sore throat for a couple of days and it may hurt for him to talk, but he won’t harm anything by talking, okay?”

Zach nodded his head and stuck his hand out towards Dr. Hawthorn. Dr. Hawthorn shook Zach’s hand as Zach said, “Thank you! Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. _We_ really appreciate it.”

“Of course! Now, I hope I don’t see you until tomorrow,” Dr. Hawthorn joked and he patted Zach’s shoulder before he walked down the hallway.

Zach opened the door tentatively. They had drawn the curtain so he couldn’t see Frankie from the doorway. Zach quietly closed the door and walked around the curtain until he could see Frankie. Frankie was looking down, but his head snapped up as soon as Zach came into view. The smile on Frankie’s face was blinding. Zach had been dreaming about that smile and praying to see it again for what felt like an eternity. He could hardly believe it was happening. Zach moved quickly to get back to Frankie’s side. Zach returned the smile with full force. Zach was so grateful to see all of Frankie’s face again, unobscured by lines and tubes and other medical equipment that Zach had grown to detest. 

Frankie’s heart was fluttering in his chest at seeing Zach’s smile. He had looked so down and literally worn out earlier. His face was alive again. It made Frankie’s heart warm and the feeling was amazing. He reached his hand out for Zach as Zach finally made it to the side of the bed. It had only taken him about two seconds, but Frankie felt like he’d watched the whole thing in slow motion. Zach took Frankie’s hand in his as he smiled at him, teeth showing, eyes alight with excitement and wonder. He was the cutest thing Frankie had ever seen in his entire life, and Frankie knew that would never change.

Frankie knew it would hurt his throat, but he wanted to say it more than anything. His voice was hoarse and he croaked a little on the second word, but he managed to say, “Hello Zachary Colin Rance-Grande.”

Zach’s eyes were swimming with tears, but he smiled a devilish grin as he corrected Frankie, “Grande-Rance.” Frankie always switched it. It had been a minor battle back when they were planning their wedding, but Zach had won by using some of his powers of persuasion. That particular persuasion had required a few memorable nights and of course, his best weapon, the puppy dog eyes. 

Frankie’s smile got even wider as Zach dropped his head into the crook of Frankie’s neck. Frankie closed his eyes, relishing the feeling of Zach nuzzling his neck again. Frankie’s hand found Zach’s hair and he played with the short pieces at the base of Zach’s neck before he pulled gently on the hair at the top of Zach’s head. Frankie felt warm tears fall against his neck. Frankie felt the tears slide down to his shoulder, leaving a cool trail along his neck.

It was all so overwhelming. Zach wasn’t even thinking about his actions anymore. He’d had to restrain himself from crawling into bed with Frankie. That probably wasn’t the best idea. Frankie still had a recently repaired leg fracture and a number of bruises, not to mention the broken ribs that would have to heal on their own time. He let the tears fall; he didn’t care. There was no point in trying to act for Frankie. Frankie always saw right through him. When he’d heard Frankie say his name, Zach felt like his heart was being pulled back together, piece by piece, and squeezing together tighter than ever to ensure that it was whole again.

Zach was lost in a million racing thoughts and a thousand sensations assaulting his body all at once, when Frankie said, in a low whisper, “I love you.”

Zach said, “I love you too.” It was automatic and it felt amazing. Frankie turned his head so that he could kiss Zach’s temple. Zach kissed Frankie’s neck in response, tasting his own salty tears, before he finally pulled back from Frankie so he could see his face again. Frankie’s free hand was wiping tears from his eyes and Zach was wiping tears from his own face as they looked at each other.

Zach broke the silence first, “I can’t tell you how amazing it is to hear your voice. No matter how hoarse it is. It’s amazing. But don’t hurt yourself on my account. The doctor told me your throat would hurt for a while. I just want to help you the best I can and I’m not going to leave your side.”

Frankie’s eyes were still spilling tears and he tried valiantly to wipe them away, but it was too much. Frankie nodded at Zach, heeding his plea not to push himself too much. Frankie held out his arms towards Zach. He wanted a hug. Zach obliged. Zach slid his arms under Frankie’s back so that he could truly hug him. Frankie winced a little in pain. His chest was sore, but he didn’t want Zach to see and he managed not to make any noise. He squeezed Zach lightly. He knew that Zach hadn’t showered lately, but Frankie didn’t really care. Zach didn’t smell great, but he smelled like Zach and that was enough for Frankie. They broke the hug after another minute. Zach sat down in the chair next to Frankie.

Frankie wanted more. He wanted more contact with Zach. He knew it had only been a few days, but the look of longing he kept catching in Zach’s eyes made it feel like it had been much longer. While Frankie didn’t have to live the time that he was away from Zach, he still felt a yearning for Zach that was more intense than any other time they’d been apart. Frankie patted the bed next to him. Zach looked up at him with a surprised face. Frankie smiled at him and nodded. Frankie said, “Please.”

Zach smiled. He lowered the railing on that side of the bed and Frankie started to shift to the other side of the bed. He was moving surprisingly well until he winced and grabbed his left leg. Zach stopped and looked up at Frankie’s face. It was scrunched tight, but slowly relaxing. Zach said, “Yeah, that’s the leg you broke. It was fixed in surgery. Are you sure you want to move it if it hurts that bad?” Frankie nodded at him and he slowly slid his leg over, holding his breath as he moved it. Zach watched in awe. Frankie was literally the strongest person he’d ever met.

There was now enough room for Zach to lie on his side next to Frankie. Zach sat on the edge of the bed carefully. He didn’t want to move the bed too much and cause Frankie any more pain. Zach felt Frankie’s hand rubbing soothing patterns into his back. Zach relaxed a little as he rotated his body and swung his legs carefully onto the bed. Zach repositioned so that he was on his hip and facing Frankie. Frankie was watching him, a soft smile on his lips as Zach laid his head down on Frankie’s shoulder. Zach had remembered about Frankie’s broken ribs and he didn’t even know which side they were on, so he avoided putting too much pressure on Frankie’s chest.

Frankie’s hand dropped to caress Zach’s back. It was all so familiar. The familiarity and normality of it all was too much for Zach to process. Tears fell from his eyes once again. He’d been too afraid to hope that they would get back here. He’d fought the hope so hard that it was now too much to handle that it was real. It all felt to surreal. It was almost as if Zach could see them from above. Zach’s arm was draped across Frankie’s stomach, with his fingers tracing up and down Frankie’s right arm. Frankie’s hand was rubbing circles and other patterns across Zach’s back. Occasionally, Frankie would spell out words like Zach or love. Zach’s breathing calmed down and became regular. He could feel himself being lulled to sleep.

Zach’s eyes shot open when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw a text from Ariana. She was wondering if everything was okay. Zach cursed himself for forgetting to text them. He’d promised he would, but he was so distracted by Frankie being awake. Frankie was monopolizing his every thought and it was great, but he felt bad for not keeping them in the loop. Zach looked up and Frankie had a puzzled look on his face. Clearly he had read the text message. 

Zach cleared his throat a little and said, “Yeah babe, your mom and Ari are here. My mom is here too actually. I asked to be alone with you when they woke you up. I hope that’s okay. It might have been a little selfish, but I was so nervous and I didn’t want them to watch me have a break down or anything like that.”

Frankie smiled at him and caressed Zach’s cheek. “It’s okay. Stay here,” Frankie said patting his shoulder and taking Zach’s phone from him. Frankie dropped Zach’s phone next to his hip. Frankie wasn’t mad that Zach had asked to be alone with him. In fact, he loved that he had gotten to wake up to only Zach. It was easier than facing his mother and sister. He loved them both dearly, but it would have been a little overwhelming. He wanted to comfort Zach first. Zach was Frankie’s number one priority. It had been that way for over 4 years and that’s just how Frankie liked it.

Zach said, “Okay. How about I rest for a few minutes and then I’ll text Ari back. They can come see you. Does that sound good?” Frankie nodded at Zach. Zach smiled and moved his left hand up to touch Frankie’s cheek. Zach’s thumb brushed the skin softly and Frankie smiled at him, his eyes loving. Zach hesitated and then quickly said, “Can I kiss you?”

Frankie smirked at him and said, “Rose.” Zach closed the distance between them and lightly pressed his lips against Frankie’s. Frankie closed his eyes and relished the feeling of Zach’s lips on his. Zach felt like his world was realigning. He wasn’t sure how he’d ever gone days with the uncertainty. Now that his Frankie was back, he knew that he wouldn’t do well without him. He’d always suspected this, but it was more than confirmed now. It was a cold hard fact that Zach needed Frankie in his life every day to feel whole. After a few seconds, Zach broke the kiss. He smiled at Frankie and rested his head back on its previous spot. Frankie kissed the top of Zach’s head and Zach closed his eyes, focusing on the patterns Frankie was once again drawing on his back. Zach could feel the anxiety lifting and he was left with exhaustion. He was drifting off to sleep in less than a minute while Frankie was smiling serenely at the beautiful man wrapped in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a day longer than planned (blame ZRL). 
> 
> Let me know if you liked this part. I'm trying to decide when to wrap this up...


	8. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Together we make a family.

_The sky was painted in a thousand shades of pink, orange, and purple. The glowing orange sun was half way out of view on the water that rippled like black glass in front of them. The scent of the salty sea was wafting through the air and a soft breeze ruffled the palm trees surrounding the villa. It was silent except for a few calls from the birds flying overhead._

_Zach was sitting with his backside resting in the beautiful, white sand of the beach. His toes were digging in, feeling the familiar grittiness, but it was softer here than at home. The sand was so fine; Zach loved it. His back was pressed against the wooden pole for the railing at the bottom of the stairs. The steps leading up to their villa were just behind him and to his left. Zach had his head leaning forward, his chin resting on Frankie’s shoulder. Frankie was sitting between Zach’s legs, with his back against Zach’s bare chest. Frankie’s hands rested lightly on Zach’s bent knees while his forearms brushed Zach’s thighs. Zach had both arms wrapped around Frankie’s middle._

_“This is unbelievably beautiful,” Zach murmured to Frankie. Frankie nodded in agreement._

_“We should have done this earlier in our trip. I can’t believe we have to leave tomorrow,” Frankie lamented. Zach kissed the back of Frankie’s neck and reached up to rub Frankie’s shoulders. Frankie hung his head forward with a long sigh, “oh, that feels amazing. Please don’t stop.”_

_“I never have to,” Zach whispered with a lilt in his voice, telling Frankie he had winked at the end of that statement. Frankie grinned, enjoying the feel of Zach’s hands. They stayed this way for a few minutes, until the sun disappeared from view and there was only a fading sky filled with more hues of purple and blue than pink and orange. Frankie sighed and stood up, turning to offer his hands to Zach. Zach got up with Frankie’s help and wrapped an arm around Frankie’s waist as they turned to climb the steps up to their villa._

_Once inside, Zach pulled Frankie close, whispering in his ear, “I love my husband.”_

_Frankie’s face broke into a loving smile as he gazed at Zach and cupped his cheek in his hand. “I love you too, husband,” Frankie said before kissing Zach lightly._

_“Now, let’s make good use of our last night in paradise. Show me more skin,” Frankie said with a wink as he tugged on the blue swim trunks Zach was wearing._

_Zach groaned and wrapped his arms around Frankie. “Tomorrow might be the end of the honeymoon, but I swear I’ll never stop loving you as much as I do right now,” Zach said._

_“I love the sound of that. I promise to love you and desire you as much as I do right now until the end of time,” Frankie whispered as he pulled Zach to the bedroom. The door slammed behind them._

Zach awoke with a jerk. He sat up and searched the dark room, unable to see much beyond the soft glow of a screen just behind his head. That didn’t seem right. Slowly a soft beeping sound reminded Zach where he was. He was in Frankie’s hospital room. He was in Frankie’s hospital bed to be exact. Just as he remembered where he was, he felt Frankie’s hand on his cheek and heard soothing sounds coming from Frankie. Zach closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. He laid back down, wrapping his left arm around Frankie’s middle.

“Bad dream?” Frankie asked. His voice was still hoarse, but not as bad as what Zach remembered from earlier.

“No, quite the opposite actually. It was more of a memory than a dream I guess. We were at the villa, you remember? Our honeymoon?” Zach asked.

Frankie hummed in approval and began to run his fingers through Zach’s hair. Zach suddenly sat up again, glancing at the clock he couldn’t read well in the very poorly lit room. He looked down at Frankie who was now running his hand up and down Zach’s right arm. “What time is it?” Zach asked.

“Late,” Frankie replied.

“Shit, I was supposed to text Ari back. They must be freaking out,” Zach said.

“I took care of it, baby,” Frankie said, using his left hand to rub deep circles into Zach’s upper back, helping to release the tension that had built up over the last few days.

“What?” Zach asked again, not quite comprehending.

“You fell asleep so quickly and you were so tired. I could tell you hadn’t slept well. So after a few minutes, I really didn’t want to wake you up. I called Ari from your phone. We spoke for a few minutes and I talked to Mommy for a minute too. You were so knocked out that you didn’t even move the whole time I was talking,” Frankie explained.

“But your sore throat. How did you manage to talk that much? You actually sound much better. Does it still hurt a lot?” Zach asked.

“You do a lot of things that cause minor pains for those you love,” Frankie answered, “And no, it only hurts a little now. Not too bad.”

“Oh, okay. You didn’t have to do that,” Zach said.

“I wanted to. I wanted you to sleep. You need sleep baby. Go back to sleep. Ari, Mommy, and your mom will be here early in the morning. We need to fortify ourselves,” Frankie said with a light chuckle that stopped pretty abruptly because the new sound hurt his throat in a different way.

Frankie could feel Zach tense up in concern and Frankie smiled at him before pulling him back down to his side. Zach settled in again. Frankie’s hand resumed drawing lazy patterns and Zach was drifting off again. He hadn’t slept very well in two days and he couldn’t wait to go back to whatever wonderful things his subconscious had in store for him. He tried to imagine the villa again; in his mind he saw Frankie’s gray tank top falling to the floor, just as it had done a few years ago.

Frankie woke up with bright sun shining through the window on his left. He shielded his eyes for a minute until they adjusted to the brightness. Zach was still asleep, his back to the window. Frankie could feel the soft rise and fall of Zach’s chest pressed against his side. Frankie didn’t want to wake him until he had to. Zach was sleeping so soundly and Frankie was pretty sure Zach hadn’t slept well at all the whole time that Frankie had been in the hospital.

It was only five minutes later when there was a soft knock at the door. Ari opened the door slowly and Frankie’s eyes locked on hers immediately. Ari broke into a huge grin that Frankie returned a thousand fold. As the women filed into the room, Frankie gently shook Zach’s shoulders until he was awake. He made a few incomprehensible sounds as he woke up.

Zach was in a bit of a daze. His eyes were blurry and he was slowly coming to when he heard his mom’s voice. His eyes popped open and he sat up quickly, scrambling to get out of bed and on his own two feet. His hair was sticking up at odd angles and his clothes were thoroughly wrinkled. He’d slept great, but he was a bit embarrassed to be woken up by his mother while he was cuddled up against his husband, in his hospital room, no less. Zach hoped the blush on his cheeks wasn’t too noticeable. His mother was smiling at him and Frankie, so Zach relaxed, pushing the embarrassment aside.

Ari threw herself at Frankie and Zach caught a slight wince on Frankie’s face as she pulled him into a hug. Zach didn’t say anything though; he knew Frankie wouldn’t want him to. Ari was talking to Frankie, but Zach was distracted by the hug his mother pulled him into. “I’m so happy that everything is looking better, son. I was so worried for you. It is such a relief to see Frankie awake and on the mend,” Jill said to him. Zach broke the hug and beamed at his mother. He kissed her cheek and said, “Thanks Mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby boy,” she replied.

Zach turned his attention back to Frankie. Joan was sitting on the edge of the bed now and holding Frankie’s hand. They were talking quietly, both of their eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

Ari approached Zach, giving him a huge hug and then giving him a light shove on the shoulder. “Way to keep me informed, _Zachary_ ,” she told him.

Zach could only shrug in defense and said, “It was a little more intense than I thought it would be. I’m sorry.”

Ari smiled at him, a gentle look in her eyes, before she said, “I forgive you.”

Zach stepped closer to Frankie’s bed and listened to Joan and Frankie’s conversation. It seemed like they were talking about business or something. Zach listened a little closer and heard a few words about how Ari had cancelled some appearances and a little bit about how Doug was taking care of Tiger. Zach had forgotten to mention the finer details about how life was running outside of this room, but then again, Zach wasn’t really that informed on any of that anyway.

Frankie got Ari’s attention again and began insisting Ari resume her promotional appearances immediately. She’d tried to refuse, but she knew that Frankie was right. Work got in the way of the life she wanted to lead sometimes, but she absolutely loved what she got to do everyday, so sometimes it was necessary to push aside personal feelings, at least temporarily. Jill spoke up during a lull in the conversation and approached Frankie’s side. She squeezed his hand softly and said, “I’m so glad that you are going to be okay. We all love you and we’re so relieved that things turned out for the better.”

Frankie smiled at Jill, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He didn’t remember Jill ever being this sweet to him. They were friendly. They had a great relationship with chatting about a number of different things, but this was different. Maybe it was the way she said it. Maybe it was the fact that she had glanced at Zach with adoration in her eyes in the middle of her statement and then looked at Frankie with the same loving expression. Maybe it was the fact that she had seemed genuinely happy and relieved this morning. Maybe it was the way she’d almost playfully smirked at Zach when he’d scrambled out of Frankie’s bed. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it was so sweet and Frankie’s emotions might have still been a little raw. Frankie quickly wiped his eyes and said, “That means a lot Jill. Thank you. I love you and the rest of the Rance clan too.” Zach wiped his eyes, hidden behind his mother and squeezed her hand in thanks as he returned to Frankie’s side.

At that moment, they were interrupted as Dr. Hawthorn entered the room. He smiled at the group and said, “Wow, you have quite the committee this morning! It seems the night went well. How are you feeling?”

“I’m a little sore, but otherwise, I feel pretty good,” Frankie answered.

Joan and Ari moved away from Frankie’s right side as Dr. Hawthorn approached to perform a quick exam. After he finished, he addressed Frankie and said, “Well, since you no longer require the ventilator and you are breathing better, we will move you to a regular room in a few hours. I am going to order some physical therapy for you. Dr. Wilson, your orthopedic surgeon, will take point on that front. Therapy should visit today. Do the best you can, but don’t over do it. If we get a good report from physical therapy and the rest of today and tonight goes well, we can talk about sending you home tomorrow night. Does that sound like a good plan to you?” 

“Yes sir,” Frankie said, smiling at the doctor and shaking his hand. Zach shook Dr. Hawthorn’s hand as well, smiling brightly. Dr. Hawthorn turned to shake Ari’s hand, but she hugged him instead. He looked a little surprised, but relaxed into the hug. Ari wiped tears away as she let go of him. Joan and Jill took turns shaking Dr. Hawthorn’s hand before he walked out. Frankie laughed quietly at Ari who looked a little surprised by her actions. Ari smirked at him and pinched his arm softly. “What? Am I not allowed to worry about my brother? Geez,” she huffed at him. Frankie smiled and held up his arms for another hug, which she gladly gave.

After the hug, Frankie squeezed Ari’s hand and said, “Please, go back to your appearances.” Ari wrinkled her nose and shook her head. Frankie pressed on, asking, “Mommy, help me?”

Joan placed a hand on her daughter’s arm and said, “Why don’t we leave tomorrow morning. We can spend the day with Frankie and then you can see how much better he is doing now. Then we can still make it back to LA in time for the rest of your schedule. We’ve scheduled some stuff in New York in a few days time. We’ll come back shortly, okay?”

“Really, Ari, honey, I’m here and I will take care of him. You know that. I won’t let him out of my sight. You should go promote this album. It’s amazing and it deserves everything you can give it. I have things handled. I promise,” Zach said. He was more convincing than he thought he could be, but he really wanted Ari to do what was best for her. He was Frankie’s husband; he could and would be the one to nurse him back to health.

“I’ll stay and help them out, okay?” Jill offered. 

Ari smiled at them all and nodded. “Okay, if you all insist, but I refuse to enjoy any of it. I’m facetiming you all of the time, so you get ready mister,” she said, pointing at Frankie and winking at him. Frankie smiled back and told her that he loved her.

The morning passed quickly. The five of them had lively conversations about Ari’s recent adventures, Zach’s latest endeavors, Frankie’s current show, and Jill filled them in on Peyton’s current girlfriend and how nervous he is to move to high school next year.

Zach listened to the stories feeling more at ease than before. He loved hearing about Peyton. It took Zach almost two years before he’d been able to listen to the events in Peyton’s life without feeling horribly guilty about moving away from Florida, but he’d finally gotten there. They were still the best of friends and Zach made a mental note to call Peyton tonight.

Frankie was enjoying the company. It was rare that any portion of his family and Zach’s family combined. It only happened about once a year on Thanksgiving. Frankie kept the conversation light, only slipping a few times as his mind wandered to the throbbing pain in his leg and the moderate headache he was trying to ignore. He was scared of physical therapy. It had hurt quite a bit when Ari had hugged him this morning. He would never mention it to anyone, but it had definitely stung. Frankie didn’t want to disappoint them and delay his return home, but his pain level was pretty high if he was being truthful with himself. Just as his worries were beginning to overwhelm him, he felt Zach take his hand and Frankie glanced up at him, reading the worry in his eyes. Frankie smiled and squeezed Zach’s hand, plastering a smile on his face as he returned to the lively conversation between the women gathered around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys getting bored with this? Let me know...


	9. Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were born to be real, not perfect.

It was a few hours before Frankie was finally situated in his new room. They’d weaned him off the oxygen and removed some of his monitors and lines. Ultimately, they'd freed Frankie up just a little more to enable him to do physical therapy. It was just before lunch and the conversation had reached a natural stopping point. Frankie had been informed that his physical therapist would be visiting shortly after lunch. 

“Why don’t you all go get lunch and you can come back in a few hours? I should be done with physical therapy by then,” Frankie proposed to the group.

Zach instantly shook his head no. “I’m not leaving Frankie. I will not leave,” Zach said.

Frankie replied, “Babe, I’m pretty sure you haven’t eaten a proper meal in days and I know you haven’t showered or changed clothes in days. Go take care of yourself for a few hours. I’ll be fine, okay?” Frankie really wanted to do physical therapy on his own. He was anxious about it if he was being honest with himself. He really didn’t want Zach to see him break down. Frankie didn’t know how hard physical therapy was going to be, but if he had a break down, he didn’t want Zach to be there. He knew that much. He was practically pleading with Zach to leave. His eyes imploring Zach to take the hint and let him do this alone.

Frankie had no such luck. Zach quickly said, “No. No, I’m not leaving. I’m staying with you. They can bring me food. I’ll order food from the cafeteria. I don’t care. Your room has a shower now, so I can take a shower here. They can bring me back a change of clothes. No, I won’t leave.” It was probably a little more forceful than Zach had originally intended for it to be when he started speaking, but it felt right. He wasn’t going to let Frankie push him out for this. Zach couldn’t do it. He would not and could not physically bear having Frankie out of his sight for that long. He supposed he still felt guilty about what happened to Frankie. He knew it wasn’t his fault, but he couldn’t help feeling like he could have been there, or maybe he should have been there. He wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he was not leaving. Frankie would not make him leave.

Frankie sighed heavily. Zach didn’t ever get that forceful when he was talking. He preferred to charm his way through things. Frankie figured he better accept it instead of fighting it. Zach thought he was doing the right thing and Frankie couldn’t really explain it to him. Even if he did, Zach would probably still insist on staying. So Frankie simply said, “Okay, baby. Stay with me.” Zach smiled triumphantly.

The short exchange was a little intense for the women in the room. They laughed nervously with each other and exchanged a few wide-eyed looks as the men negotiated the plan for the afternoon. The agreed upon plan was for the women to go to lunch. They would bring something back for both Zach and Frankie in about two hours. Additionally, Jill volunteered to meet Doug at their apartment so that she could pick out some clothes for Zach and bring him a few toiletries so he could freshen up. Then, and only then, would Zach allow Frankie to be out of his sight while he showered and the women kept Frankie company.

Frankie couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the overly detailed plan. It was a little silly. He was fine. He knew Zach was concerned, but really, Frankie just wanted some time to be by himself. He felt like he needed to cry and he wanted to do it alone. He’d managed to keep it together so far, but he was feeling emotions and pains a little more astutely now. He just needed a release. He needed a minute and he wasn’t going to get it. He was still determined to keep it together though, as long as Zach and his family were around. He didn’t want to make them more upset just as they finally seemed to be feeling better about the situation.

Zach was satisfied with his plan. He couldn’t leave Frankie alone. He couldn’t quite put his finger on why, but he knew that leaving him alone would feel like leaving his heart in another room, outside of his own body. This was a feeling he could not deal with again. His heart had just barely repaired itself. Some dubious string held it together right now as the million pieces tried to reform into one solid piece again. He still felt a pang and ache in his heart when he saw Frankie wince, which was more often than he wanted to admit to himself. Plus, Zach was certain Frankie wasn’t telling him everything. Zach wanted to be there for Frankie. It was his turn to step up. He wanted to comfort his husband in the ways he’d always let Frankie comfort him in the past. 

The women left shortly after the plan was in place. They wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. The tension between the two men still hung in the air. They said warm goodbyes to both Frankie and Zach as they exited the room and headed out. When they were gone, Frankie sat silently, his arms crossed over his chest. He wasn’t angry, but he was annoyed. He wasn’t a child; he should be able to have time alone if he wanted it. 

Zach sat looking at Frankie. He knew he’d refused to do what Frankie wanted, but he wasn’t sure why it was such a big deal. He just wanted to be there for him. Where was the fault in that? Zach wasn’t sure what to do, so they sat in silence for a few minutes until Zach couldn’t take it anymore. He stood up and dropped the railing on Frankie’s bed, climbing in beside him without invitation. He laid on top of the covers and pulled Frankie's crossed arms apart, resting his head on Frankie’s shoulder again. Frankie couldn’t fight it when Zach was being sweet like this. He remembered he had given Zach zero reason to understand why he wanted to be alone. It was unfair to ask him to read his mind. They were insanely in sync, but that was a little ridiculous. Frankie dropped his arm, pulling Zach closer. Zach exhaled deeply. They still didn’t speak, but the silence was comfortable now.

It was about thirty minutes later when the physical therapist came in. She explained what the plan for the day was. They would get Frankie out of bed for the first time since his accident. After that, it would depend on what Frankie was comfortable with. The orthopedic surgeon wanted him to start to put weight on his leg, so that he would be able to get around when he was out of the hospital. Ultimately, the goal was to get Frankie walking down the hallway and back to his room. She told him it would hurt, but that the goal was to keep the pain tolerable and that if it became intolerable, he should speak up. Frankie was in charge, but the physical therapist reminded him that her job was to push him, not to coddle him.

Frankie nodded in agreement and steeled himself for the pain as she lowered the railing on the other side and Frankie sat up. Zach sat on the other edge of the bed, behind Frankie as the physical therapist held up the sheets to allow him to swivel his legs over the edge. Frankie moved slowly and gripped his leg, freezing in pain a few times before he got his legs dangling over the edge, his toes on the floor. 

Zach gave a soft chuckle as he looked at Frankie’s bare back and partially exposed ass. Frankie’s hadn’t sat up all the way before this, so no one had ever tied his gown. Zach whispered into Frankie ear, “I like the view from back here.” Zach kissed the back of Frankie’s neck.

Frankie blushed, a little embarrassed. He felt like all of his weaknesses were being exposed and he hadn’t even tried to stand yet. He wasn’t even sure he could stand. He was winded just from that movement alone and his leg was throbbing a little bit. It wasn’t too bad, but it definitely hurt. He felt Zach begin to tie the closures on the back of the gown without him having to ask. He was immensely grateful he didn’t have to ask. 

The physical therapist told him to rest while she placed a belt around his middle. Apparently, it was the best way to grab him if Frankie started to fall. Frankie was starting to feel really anxious now. His head was screaming ‘NO!’ as his leg throbbed in agreement when she asked him to put his feet down and lean forward. She had both of her hands gripping the belt she’d placed around him. She asked him to stand.

Frankie hesitated. He leaned forward once and then abandoned the attempt, not moving. He stayed still for a minute, thinking about what he was going to do while the girl said a few encouragements, ensuring him that he wouldn’t fall. Zach leaned forward on the bed, kissing his cheek, saying, “I’m right here babe.”

Frankie was embarrassed again. He wanted to cry. He hadn’t been this scared about anything in a long while and he felt weak. He had to conquer the fear. He reassured himself that it would be fine as he attempted again. He felt a little weight on his bad leg and he recoiled from the attempt instantly. Tears sprang to his eyes. It hurt more than he thought. He looked up at the physical therapist who said, “The worst is getting up. It will be better after you get up.” 

Frankie nodded and the therapist counted to three. On three, Frankie gritted his teeth, standing up as quickly as he could. The throb in his leg turned into a scream. It was like fire. It was sharp and dull all at once. It ached in his shin and calf and all the way up to his knee and down to his ankle. It was the worst. It was indescribable. Frankie gripped the physical therapists shoulders as he swayed slightly on the leg. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there. He wasn’t making out the words being directed at him. The pain was changing, slowly. Eventually, the pain returned to the throb he was familiar with. Now he could hear the girl asking him if he was ready to walk. He nodded. She moved to stand next to him, gripping the belt as Frankie took a tentative step forward.

Zach was watching Frankie with a feeling of pride. He was impressed that Frankie was able to do this at all. Zach thought that if the tables were turned, that he probably wouldn't be that strong or be able to bear the pain he could read on Frankie’s face. He’d never seen Frankie so physically pained. It hurt Zach’s heart, but there was nowhere else he’d rather be. He watched Frankie take three or four steps around the room before he asked to return to his bed. His physical therapist pushed him to do a few more and he made it a few more steps to the doorway and then insisted he return to the bed. 

Frankie was disappointed in himself. He knew he’d made some progress, but he’d wanted to do more. He knew he might be a little hard on himself, but he didn’t care. He felt like he was disappointing Zach and the feeling was unbearable. He wanted to cry. His emotions were boiling to the surface. All of the pain and the hurt and the embarrassment were creeping up. He just wished he could have a minute to cry. 

Frankie slowly made it back to the bed with the therapist’s help. He was depending more on her as he tried to avoid putting weight on his hurt leg. Suddenly, Frankie stepped wrong, his left foot slipping a little. The odd angle set off his leg in a way he hadn’t felt yet. It felt like someone was sawing his left leg in half, it hurt way more than the steps he’d been taking. He felt his leg give out and he was falling forward. Frankie felt his stomach lurch and for the first time, memories of being hit by that car flashed in his head.

Zach watched as Frankie fell forward a little bit. He reached out for him, but it wasn’t necessary as the physical therapist pulled him back quickly. It almost looked like Frankie had just had a stuttered step, but Zach knew better. Zach moved around the bed, grabbing Frankie’s hand as he took tiny steps to turn himself around and return to a seated position. The physical therapist waited for Frankie to catch his breath before she asked him to move his legs back onto the bed. She raised the railing and told Frankie he’d done a great job. She was cheerful and told Frankie she was certain they’d be able to make it down the hall tomorrow now that Frankie knew what he was doing. Frankie smiled and tried to put on a good show while he really just wished she would leave. Finally, she promised him that she’d return at the same time tomorrow before she left. She closed the door behind her, at Frankie’s request.

As soon as she left, Frankie buried his face in his hands, unable to hold back the emotions anymore. He didn't want to do this in front of Zach, but it wasn't really a choice anymore. The tears came slowly at first and then all at once. Zach had a hand resting on Frankie’s thigh and he was murmuring words of encouragement, but Frankie wasn’t listening anymore. The first sob escaped despite his attempt to keep it in. It was all over after that; he couldn’t contain the tidal wave that had been building. Frankie let the sobs wrack his body. 

The combination was too much to handle. The pain and the images of the men threatening and hitting him in addition to the new memories of being struck by the car and falling into the street filled his mind. Frankie felt like the world was closing in. He was breathing too quickly. He was sweating, but he was cold. He felt like the world was spinning. He felt like he was going to die right there. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think rationally, all he could do was feel his body spiraling out of his control.

Zach looked on, tears stinging his own eyes as he reached out to pull Frankie’s hands away from his face. Zach continued to say words to Frankie, but he wasn’t even sure what he was saying anymore. He was completely sure Frankie wasn’t listening. This was new territory. Sure, he’d comforted Frankie in the past, but this was different. He felt a jolt of fear.

Frankie choked out, “This…why…wanted…alone…”

Frankie’s hands were still over his face so he couldn’t see as Zach’s eyes showed surprise followed by a softening with understanding clearly etched on his face. Then the images of Frankie lying bloodied and broken on the stretcher in the ER when he’d first arrived at the hospital returned unbidden to Zach’s mind. He looked at Frankie now, curled up, nearly in the fetal position, his body heaving and his face hidden. Zach remembered the promise he made to himself on that first night. He’d be there for Frankie, no matter what. Nothing would ever change that for him. Nothing.

Zach wasn’t sure what to do, but he had to do something. He started by repeating Frankie’s name, louder and louder, trying to get his attention. Meanwhile, he continued to attempt to pull Frankie’s hands away from his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you hate me???? I will pick up the next part immediately where I left off...that is if you don't all hate me and you still want more...
> 
> Sorry for bursting the bubble...


	10. Anchor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Life's roughest storms prove the strength of our anchors."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update...I hope you like this chapter!

Zach was saying Frankie’s name repeatedly. He could hear his voice getting louder as he tried to get through to him. It wasn’t working. Zach tried to keep his voice at a reasonable level. He didn’t want to attract any attention and have someone burst in the room at this moment. He didn’t want Frankie to have to deal with that too. Zach continued to try and pull Frankie’s hands away from his face. Every time he’d successfully pull one hand away, Frankie would put it back, curling up into himself even tighter. Zach clearly wasn’t making any progress.

Frankie didn’t know what was happening anymore. He wasn’t even aware of Zach being next to him, let alone in the same room. The images and the feelings from that night were coming faster than he could process them. It was all almost a blur—almost. He could remember how he’d felt like his life was going to end when the car hit him and his head hit the pavement—hard. He could remember feeling incredibly nauseous, lying on the street, afraid to move, feeling pain flow from his leg, his head, and his chest as it spread like waves throughout the rest of his body. It had probably only lasted a minute, but he could remember it vividly now. He remembered all of the pain and the fear. In that fear, his mind had flashed through his memories, each just a fraction of second. There were images of everyone from his grandparents to his friends and Zach. He relived moments with Ari years ago before she’d made it big. He saw happy family gatherings. He envisioned Zach watching him with tears in his eyes as Frankie recited his wedding vows. He relived dance parties with his friends. The last image he saw was Zach, still asleep in their bed, his face serene with Tiger curled up at his side. Then the memories went black. He must have passed out from the pain or the head injury or a combination of the two. The next thing he remembered was waking up in a room, hooked up to so many machines, unable to speak, unable to move much at all, but Zach had been there.

Frankie was helplessly trying to get out of this spiral he’d somehow worked himself into since he’d woken up. His mind building up the emotion, his body building up the pain, until it all just broke over him. Now, he was nothing but a mess, curled up in this hospital bed, with tears streaming down his cheeks, his body heaving with the heavy breaths he was taking. He felt like he couldn’t get enough air. Something had happened to his vision too. It was like he was seeing Zach through a dark tunnel. He didn’t like it. It made him afraid that it would all go black again and maybe this time he wouldn’t wake up. He tried to keep his eyes closed and his body protected. He still couldn’t even think about what was happening for more than a few seconds before he’d be forced, once again, to relive the memories and ride out his body’s reaction to everything.

Zach gave up on his current methods. It clearly wasn’t going to work. He stood up from the chair he was sitting in. He quickly moved to the other side of the bed—the side that Frankie’s back was facing. Frankie was essentially curled into a ball now. He looked like he was trying to hold himself together. The image made Zach’s heart ache and it hurt too much to think of it like that, so he did his best not to. He slipped his shoes off and climbed in the bed behind Frankie, slowly sitting behind him on his bent knees, his right leg and hip pressed against Frankie’s back. Zach leaned over, looking at Frankie from above. He didn’t want to hurt Frankie, but he couldn’t think of anything else to do, and he so desperately wanted to help. So Zach slid his left hand under Frankie’s left shoulder and reached around with his right hand to grab Frankie’s left side and he lifted him up slowly, carefully. It was harder than he’d expected. Frankie certainly wasn’t helping him, but after a few seconds, and a lot of effort, Zach had Frankie upright, or at least mostly upright. Zach quickly shifted his own body so he was sitting on his bottom and slid his left leg, knee bent, immediately to Frankie’s left, so that Frankie’s couldn’t return to his former position.

Now, Frankie was halfway sitting, his body leaning to the left, his head partially on Zach’s left knee, his body still folded into itself. Zach slid both of his arms around Frankie’s middle, pulling him close until Frankie’s back was against his chest. Zach dropped his head to rest against the back of Frankie’s neck for a second. He could feel Frankie’s ragged breaths wracking his body. Zach kissed the back of Frankie’s neck and moved to talk directly into Frankie’s ear. He wasn’t sure what the right thing to say was, so he figured he’d just start talking. He was able to keep his voice low as he spoke calmly into Frankie’s right ear, “Frankie. Frankie, I’m right here. I’ll always be right here. Okay? Baby breathe, please, just breathe. I know it’s all too much. I know. I want to help you. We can make it through this together. Breathe babe. Please. I love you, Frankie.”

Frankie could hear Zach. He couldn’t make out the words at first. He heard his name, but that was about it. His body was getting tired. He could feel it. All of his muscles hurt. This new position Zach had moved him into wasn’t very comfortable, but that was hardly Zach’s fault. If Frankie could just relax a bit, then it would be fine. He heard Zach saying something about breathing. Frankie was able to focus on that bit. He started concentrating on his breathing, slowing it down. His head wasn’t spinning as fast anymore, he felt like he was almost back on solid ground, anchored by Zach, whose arms were squeezing almost uncomfortably around his middle.

Zach could hear Frankie’s breathing slowing, just barely. Frankie didn’t seem to be fighting him so much anymore. His body was slowly relaxing. Zach didn’t want to try too hard, so he just sat there, holding him tight. It was another few minutes before Zach thought he could try again, Frankie’s head was fully resting on Zach’s knee now and his hands didn’t appear to be so tightly held to his face. Zach moved his arms up on each side and gently pulled on Frankie’s forearms, removing his hands from his face. Frankie didn’t fight it. Zach couldn’t see Frankie’s face very well from this angle, just part of Frankie’s right cheek. Frankie seemed to regain control of himself as he wrapped his arms around himself. Zach placed his arms over Frankie’s, squeezing him closer. Frankie dropped his legs, letting them rest more comfortably against the bed. Zach dropped his head to kiss Frankie’s cheek. 

Frankie picked his head up, surprising Zach, who just watched. The storm was over, but he didn’t know what he was left with in its wake.  Frankie seemed to look around the room for minute, Zach wasn’t sure. Finally, Frankie leaned back into Zach, resting the back of his head on Zach’s chest. Zach let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He felt Frankie’s arms loosen under his and Zach let go. Frankie’s arms dropped to his sides. Zach placed his left hand down on top of Frankie’s left hand. Zach rested his right arm across Frankie’s middle again, lightly holding him.

They sat there like that for a few minutes. Zach was afraid to move. Frankie was too tired to move. Finally, it was Frankie who broke the silence. “Zach,” Frankie said. That was it. He couldn’t form any more words. He was feeling rather emotionally and physically spent.

“Frankie,” Zach almost whispered. It sounded like a prayer. Zach dropped his head forward, looking down so he could kiss Frankie’s forehead. Frankie sighed and stirred in Zach’s arms, twisting a little so that he could see Zach. Zach had been ignoring the tears that had fallen from his own eyes after he’d finally gotten Frankie up and in his arms. The minutes of silence had stretched out and Zach had gotten too much time to think—too much time to, once again, wonder how things could have turned out. He’d done his best to shut it out and focus on Frankie, who was breathing and relaxing into his arms, so he hadn’t paid much attention to the few tears that had spilled down his cheeks. Now that Frankie was looking at him, he quickly reached to wipe them away, but Frankie had already lifted his hand to wipe them with the soft pad of his thumb. 

Frankie’s face was tear-stained when Zach finally got to look at it. No more fresh tears, just the faint outlines of the tracks they’d made. Zach opened his mouth to say something else, but he didn’t get the words out. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say. As he closed his mouth, Frankie whispered, “I’m sorry.”

That got Zach’s brain working again. “What? No. What? Don’t apologize. None of this is your fault,” Zach insisted.

“But,” Frankie started before Zach was shushing him again.

“No, Frankie. This is a lot to handle and I understand that. I just want to be here for you. You wanted some time alone? Is that part of what brought this on?” Zach questioned. Frankie saw the brief flash of hurt in his eyes when he thought that Frankie hadn’t wanted him there

“I did, or at least I thought I did. I thought I needed to be alone. I could feel this coming,” Frankie said, pausing to take a deep breath before he continued, “I’m so sorry you had to see that. I didn’t want you to see that. Honestly, I thought I’d handle all of that emotional build up better alone, but I know now that I was wrong. I was so wrong. Having you here was better. It’s always better when you’re here. Thank you.” Zach’s eyes watched Frankie’s face as he talked. Reading the furrows in his eyebrows when he apologized and the softening of his features as he thanked Zach.

Zach took maybe a beat too long to answer, but he was trying to process Frankie’s words. “Don’t thank me. You should never thank me for doing the things that I want to do—things I’m supposed to do as your husband. You are the most important thing to me. I will always be here when you want me to be. And maybe sometimes when you don’t,” Zach said, smiling knowingly at Frankie at the last part. Frankie returned the smile, shifting his body further into Zach’s. Frankie was turning sideways; he pulled his left leg up a little and winced briefly, but continued as he tucked his legs up closed to Zach. Frankie decided he should try to work through the pain and not let the pain, nor the fear of the pain, limit his abilities.

Now Frankie was leaning up against Zach, his cheek resting against Zach’s chest. Frankie had draped his arms around Zach’s middle, while Zach had put his arms around Frankie’s shoulders. They stayed in the embrace for few minutes, neither wanting to let go.

They both felt the vibration coming from Zach’s pocket and he reached for it, quickly reading a message from his mom. Apparently they all decided to go to the apartment. They were bringing clothes and toiletries for both Zach and Frankie and they were heading back now. Zach guessed they’d be there in twenty minutes, maybe less.

Zach relayed the message to Frankie who nodded at Zach and dropped his arms from around Zach. Zach ran his fingers through Frankie’s hair, kind of combing it back into place. At least it looked at little less unruly than it did before. Frankie reached up to touch Zach’s face. Zach leaned into the touch, smiling at Frankie. Frankie closed the distance between them to press their lips together in only their second kiss since he'd awoken. It was a soft kiss, but insistent. Frankie moved his lips against Zach’s, enjoying the familiarity. Zach returned the kiss, enjoying the feel of Frankie and the taste of his lips. They broke the kiss after a minute. Zach kept his eyes closed, one hand curled in the hair at the base of Frankie’s neck. Frankie pressed his forehead to Zach’s as he mumbled, “that was amazing.”

Zach nodded in agreement, whispering, “I don’t know how, but I think I just fell in love with you all over again.” A grin spread on his face as Frankie pushed him playfully. 

“And I’m the overdramatic one? You’re such a goof. Get up. They’ll be back soon,” Frankie teased. Pressing his lips to Zach’s briefly before Zach slowly maneuvered his way out of the bed.

Zach disappeared into the bathroom, returning with a wet washcloth that he handed to Frankie. Frankie slowly wiped his face and cleaned himself up. Zach helped finish cleaning his face since they didn’t have a mirror for Frankie to use.

After Zach cleaned himself up in the bathroom, he returned and put his shoes back on before settling back in the chair that he’d been in earlier. Frankie had propped himself up in bed, seeming more at ease, but slightly nervous to Zach who could see his eyes dart around the room a little too much. 

Zach reached out and took Frankie’s hand. Frankie’s eyes finally settled on Zach. Frankie spoke so quietly at first that Zach didn’t hear and had to ask him to repeat himself. Frankie said, “Please don’t tell them. I don’t want them to know. Can we keep this between us? Please.” Zach hesitated. Frankie continued, “Ari needs to go do her promotional stuff. I want Mommy to go with her and support her. They don’t need to know. You know. You’re the only one that needs to know. You’re the only one that matters. You can tell your mom if you want, but not until Ari and Mommy leave. Okay? Please.”

Zach wasn’t sure what to think about this. Frankie had never asked Zach to keep a secret before. Frankie was as much of an open book as anyone Zach had ever met in his life. On one hand, he was scared about what this meant. Why was he so afraid? On the other hand, he felt like this was a thing that only husbands would share and he was happy to do that with Frankie. In the end, he figured it was best to do as Frankie wished. It was true that Ari had places she should be. Frankie was clearly out of danger at this point, so there was no reason to keep her here. Zach could handle it. He would handle it. So Zach nodded at Frankie, taking Frankie’s hand with his own and saying, “Okay, babe. It’s between you and me.” 

Frankie smiled at him, squeezing Zach’s hand, lacing their fingers together. Frankie found the remote and turned the TV on, searching for something to watch while they waited for the women to return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you all still want more? Did you like this?


	11. Strength & Weakness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sometimes the biggest strength can be found in how you understand and confront your greatest weakness."

It wasn’t too much later when the women returned. They had brought more than enough food for Zach and Frankie. In fact, Zach was pretty sure they’d have enough leftover food for days. They had also brought clothes for both men and a toiletry bag for each. Frankie was overjoyed that Ari had brought him his favorite glitter. He made a big show about how excited he was to get it. Ari giggled at his theatrics and the sound made Frankie’s heart a little lighter. He loved making his sister laugh. He really wanted the afternoon to go smoothly so that she could leave New York reassured and satisfied that Frankie would be okay.

After they ate, Frankie convinced Zach that he should shower and clean himself up a little bit. Zach had resisted a little bit, but Frankie’s reassuring squeeze on his hand and wink of his eye helped alleviate Zach’s concern. Zach took what was probably the quickest shower he’s ever taken in his life. He got dressed quickly and came out of the bathroom with hair that was still dripping wet. He had a towel in hand, lazily towel drying his hair, but he returned to his seat next to Frankie. Frankie smirked at him knowingly. After Zach had his hair mostly dry, Frankie reached over to help tuck a few stray strands into place. 

“Does it look okay?” Zach asked, suddenly worried about his hair. Frankie chuckled and smiled at him, nodding as he ran his fingers through a few sections of Zach hair, arranging them a little more neatly than they’d been before. Of course Zach would still worry about his hair. It was one of the few constants Frankie could rely on. No matter the situation, Zach would always be concerned about his hair. Frankie loved it, even though he’d never admit it to Zach.

“Of course, babe,” Frankie said as he pulled his hand away and leaned over to kiss Zach on the cheek. Zach blushed as he looked up to see Ari watching their interaction. She smiled adoringly at Zach when he accidentally caught her eye. Fortunately, Zach thought, Jill and Joan seemed to be pretty engaged in a conversation of their own. He didn’t really want a huge audience while Frankie was doting on him. 

The afternoon passed quickly with many jokes and lots of laughter. Frankie could still make Zach laugh at almost anything and combining Frankie with Ari was even better. They played off of each other so well. Zach was comfortable. He was happy to spend time with his family. His mind only occasionally strayed to the events earlier in the day. When this would happen he’d glance quickly at Frankie, who was wearing a permanent smile since the women had returned. Zach was certain that it wasn’t entirely genuine, but it did seem like Frankie was enjoying himself. Zach knew that Frankie didn’t get to spend as much time with Ari or Joan as he would like. It was nice for Frankie to get some time with them. Zach was happy to sit back and watch their interactions for the majority of the afternoon.

When the sun was setting outside the hospital room window, they decided to order in pizza for dinner. Frankie was truly enjoying his time with everyone. He was pretty sure he hadn’t had this much time with Ari, Mommy, or Jill in a couple years. After the wedding, he and Zach had kind of become even more attached and hidden away in New York. They’d only been to Florida a few times. Ari was busy touring, recording, and promoting on a pretty regular schedule at this point. Frankie had to admit that he’d missed them all, and even if it took a pretty bad accident to bring them all together for a while, he was grateful for their time together. He noticed how Zach had been pretty quiet all day. He seemed content though. Every so often, Frankie would catch a quick look of concern on Zach’s face, but it would be gone before Frankie could be certain it was even there.

As the night was falling, Frankie was proud of himself for holding it together all day. He felt like he’d gotten a lot of emotions out earlier. It had been cathartic. He felt less weight on his shoulders now and when he looked at Zach, he was no longer worried about how Zach would react to anything he might do or anything that could come out of his mouth. Zach was steady. It was incredible to see. Zach had always been pretty dependable for Frankie over the last few years, but this was another level. If he was honest, it was incredibly endearing and at least a little sexy.

After dinner, Frankie saw Jill and Joan start yawning as they rested their heads in their hands, arms propped up on armrests. Frankie sat up and reached his arm out for Ari. She moved to sit on the edge of his bed and hugged him tight. Frankie noted that it only stung a little this time. When they pulled apart Frankie said, “You should go get some sleep. You have an early flight tomorrow, right? Mommy looks tired and I’m a little tired too. I’ll be okay. I promise.”

Ari looked skeptical. She shook her head a little and opened her mouth to speak, but Frankie cut her off. “I have Zach. He will take care of me. He’s done an amazing job so far and I know that he will be there for anything that I need. I don’t want to be blunt, but I will be. You have things you need to do elsewhere, and you’re not required here, no matter how much I love having you here,” Frankie said matter-of-factly.

Ari’s eyes were glistening as she listened to him. Frankie could tell her mind was working through what he’d said before she nodded and said, “Okay. You’re right. I just remember the panic I felt when I knew you were hurt but I couldn’t be by your side. It felt like I was suffocating, drowning in fear. It was horrible.”

“I know, Ari, I understand. But I’m better now. I will be fine and I will talk to you everyday, okay?” Frankie reiterated. Frankie reached his hand out for Zach, who stood up and moved closer to the pair. He held Frankie’s outstretched hand in one of his and placed the other protectively on Frankie’s shoulder.

“I’ve got him Ari. I will take care of him sweetheart. I promise,” Zach said earnestly.

Ari nodded and learned in to hug Frankie again. Frankie held her tighter than he had before despite the increasing pain. Then Ari stood, leaning over the bed to hug Zach who patted her back gently. She whispered her thanks before they broke apart.

Frankie glanced over at his mom and saw her quickly close her eyes and drop her head to her hand. He smiled ruefully at the ruse. She’d been listening. Good, he thought, then I don’t have to do this twice. Shortly after, Ari was “waking up” Joan and they both said long goodbyes to Frankie and Zach. There were promises made on both ends and they parted happily. Jill followed them out the door, hugging each man and promising to return for a visit tomorrow. 

When they were alone, Frankie seemed to instantly relax into the bed. He’d made it through the day and accomplished his goal of sending off Ari and Mommy happy. He laid back in the bed, eyes closed for a minute before he looked over at Zach, who was fiddling with his phone. “Hey, babe. So, um, I don’t know how else to say it, but I feel disgusting. I need to get out of this gown and wash up a bit,” Frankie said.

“Do you want me to call your nurse?” Zach asked.

“Not really. Would you help me? I know I can’t get out of bed really, but I can sit on the edge and maybe you can bring me a washcloth. Something. Please,” Frankie replied.

Zach was a little surprised that Frankie was actually asking for his help. He was relieved that Frankie finally seemed willing to not only accept, but actually ask for his help. He rushed to his feet and into the bathroom. When he came back, Frankie was sitting up and Zach lowered the railing of the bed so he could sit with his legs over the edge. Frankie reached behind himself to try to undo the knots in the gown that Zach had tied earlier, but Zach came around and untied them for him. Frankie dropped the gown from his shoulders, keeping his lap covered. Then he carefully used the washcloth to cleanse his skin. The water was warm and he felt like he was getting years of grime off of himself. Zach returned with a clean washcloth every few minutes. When Frankie was done, he handed the last washcloth to Zach and asked, “My back?”

Zach nodded, carefully rubbing the washcloth against the skin of his back. When he finished, Zach returned the washcloth to the bathroom before retrieving the bag that held Frankie’s clothes. He pulled out a grey tank top and a blue T-shirt. He held them both up and Frankie picked the tank top. Zach tossed it to him and Frankie put it on as he watched Zach dig further into the bag, producing a pair of red basketball shorts and a pair of underwear. Frankie looked thoughtful for a moment before he took the shorts from Zach. He knew it was going to hurt when he tried to lift himself up to put them on and it didn’t seem worth it to do it twice. Zach asked if Frankie wanted help, but he waved him away. Slowly, but surely, Frankie got the shorts on and up his legs before swiveling his legs back on the bed so that he could lift his hips up to finish dressing himself. It hurt to put that much weight on his leg, but he made it through with a quick grimace. When he was dressed, he tossed the used gown to the foot of his bed.

Frankie carefully worked his way back until he was lying down again. Frankie looked up at Zach, who was still standing by the door to the bathroom and said, “I’m tired.”

“Me too, babe,” Zach said, “Brush our teeth and go to sleep?” Frankie nodded in agreement and Zach returned with Frankie’s toothbrush, the toothpaste, and a cup of water. They both brushed longer than was necessary. Frankie sort of picked up the habit from Zach. It was worse when he brushed his teeth at the same time as Zach. Regardless, Frankie finished a good three minutes before Zach was done.

Zach returned to sit on the edge of the bed, Frankie’s bag of toiletries in hand. He leaned in and gave Frankie a quick peck on the lips. Frankie smiled at him. “What’re you doing?” Frankie asked curiously, looking down at his toiletry bag.

“Well, you were so excited about your glitter. I thought you might want to put some on?” Zach said, looking questioningly at Frankie.

“We’re going to sleep, silly. You’re pretty adorable though...oh, put it on for me, like I taught you,” Frankie answered, winking at the end before closing his eyes. Zach carefully brushed some glitter along Frankie’s temples, trying to imitate the way Frankie usually did it and the way Frankie had taught him years ago. When he was done, he smiled at Frankie and quickly held up his phone up in selfie mode so that Frankie could see. Frankie smiled at Zach, pulling him closer. Zach dropped his phone, the glitter, and the bag on the tray by the bed as he allowed himself to be pulled down next to Frankie. Frankie’s arms wrapped around Zach as he said, “Thank you. You know how I love my glitter. It makes me feel like I’m shining…and, of course, you know how I like to shine.”

Zach draped an arm possessively over Frankie’s middle before he said, “You’re always shining to me. I don’t care what the situation is or what you think you look like, you’re the brightest thing in the room. Even if there was a thirty-foot disco ball or a forty-karat diamond in the room, you’d be brighter. Your spirit shines brighter than anything else on this earth,” Zach said, pausing briefly and burying his face in Frankie’s neck, “Oh god, I’m such a hallmark card right now. Please stop me.”

Frankie pulled Zach’s chin up, forcing Zach to look him in the eyes. “You, my love, are better than a hallmark card,” Frankie whispered. Frankie kissed Zach softly before pulling Zach down to rest against Frankie’s chest. Frankie grabbed the remote on the bed, switching out the last light in the room and turning the TV, which had been muted most of the day, off. 

Zach sighed, closing his eyes, resting against Frankie’s chest. He could hear Frankie’s heartbeat. It was steady, rhythmic. Frankie's hands were running through his hair and Zach loved the feeling. Minutes passed by. Zach was a little taken aback and could barely make out the words when Frankie said, “I’m scared to go to sleep.”

Zach sat up, looking at Frankie through the pale light coming through the window and the soft glow from under the door to the hall. He could see the glint of the glitter he’d applied not long ago when he looked at Frankie. Frankie had his head turned away, looking out the window before he spoke again, “I didn’t tell you before, but I had nightmares last night or just flashbacks, maybe, I’m not sure. I don’t know, but I remember it even better than I did before and I’m afraid it’ll be worse tonight.”

“Babe, I know I could say a million words and try to make you feel better about all of that, but they’d only be words. I can’t stop any nightmares or flashbacks, but I can promise to be right here and hold you close when you’re scared. I won’t let anything hurt you,” Zach promised. 

Frankie nodded in the dark, still looking out the window. “Come here,” Zach said as he laid back down, He pulled Frankie closer and Frankie shifted to lay more on his side. Frankie head was now resting against Zach’s chest, with Zach’s arms encircling his shoulders. Zach kissed the top of Frankie’s head. Frankie closed his eyes, enjoying the switch in positions. This was how they usually fell asleep—with Frankie’s head on Zach’s chest and Zach’s fingers tracing patterns into his back. Frankie felt the rise and fall of Zach’s chest below his head and heard the soft lub-dub of Zach’s heart beneath his ear. It felt like home. 

Frankie closed his eyes, doing his best to feel the moment and not feed into the fear. He draped his arm across Zach, settling into the feeling of his arms. “Goodnight my love. I love you beyond reason,” Frankie whispered.

“I love you too babe, always and forever,” Zach responded. Zach looked down at Frankie, enjoying the weight of his head on his chest. It was comforting. Frankie’s eyelashes made a delicate curve against his cheek and Zach wanted nothing more than to protect Frankie from further harm. He wished he could protect him from his own mind too, but he knew that was out of his control, so he held Frankie tight, wishing the nightmares away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you liked this chapter. Thanks for reading!! <3


	12. Avoidance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Our biggest problems arise from the avoidance of smaller ones."

The sky was dark outside the hospital window. No stars could be seen through the glow still radiating from the streetlights and tall buildings that filled the island of Manhattan. Zach woke up to a faint knock on the door. It was a girl delivering Frankie’s breakfast tray. He gestured to the table nearby and she left the tray before quietly closing the door. Zach was exhausted. His eyes hurt from lack of sleep and he quickly closed them again, turning on his side, pressing his chest to Frankie’s back and resting his hand on Frankie’s hip. It had been a long night. Frankie had woken up a few times. Twice Zach had just felt Frankie moving in his sleep, his hands restless as he shook his head back and forth. Zach responded by holding him tighter, but each time Zach stayed awake longer than Frankie, watching and waiting for the next nightmare before sleep would overtake him again. One time, Frankie had sat straight up in bed, a strangled sound emanating from his throat. That time, Zach had noticed Frankie’s tank top was drenched in sweat. Zach helped him remove it and Frankie had lain back down with his back to Zach. Zach rubbed his back until he heard Frankie’s breathing even out.

Zach wasn’t sure how he’d slept through the other night if Frankie had been having nightmares like that. In his mind, he chalked it up to the days of no sleep he’d experienced before. He hoped it wasn’t because the nightmares were worse like Frankie had feared. He was too worried about upsetting Frankie to ask him. Maybe he’d ask later today. Either way, he tried to push the thoughts out of his mind and take advantage of the last bit of time he had available for sleep this morning. As he buried his head against the back of Frankie’s neck and closed his eyes. He felt Frankie’s hand reach over to rest on top of his. Frankie slid his fingers between Zach’s and curled his fingers into the palm of Zach’s hand, leaving their hands intertwined. Frankie pulled Zach’s arm up and tucked their joined hands close to his chin. Zach inhaled Frankie's scent and found himself drifting off again not too much later.

When Zach awoke again, the sun was shining through the window and he had to squint to see around the room. Frankie was sitting up next to him, Zach’s head was half on Frankie’s stomach and his arm across Frankie’s lap. Frankie was on Zach’s phone. He was smiling at it and scrolling like mad. Zach assumed he must have resumed his social media habit. Frankie still loved social media. It was crazy to Zach who found the whole thing to be a little maddening. He’d seriously dropped the amount he was posting over the last three years. He checked his social media accounts maybe every other day. Not even that frequently sometimes. Frankie still checked multiple times a day. He loved it. Zach guessed that was what happened when you were a people person who had an uncanny ability to connect with anyone and everyone. Zach was a little awed by how Frankie handled social media. It was impressive.

Zach sat up slowly and Frankie dropped the phone, his hand rubbing Zach’s head. “Good morning sleepyhead!” Frankie announced cheerfully.

“You’re too happy too early. How?” Zach mumbled. His eyes were still half shut in the sunlight. 

“It’s a new day and I’m trying to embrace the positive. You should try it,” Frankie said, smiling at him.

“I’ll try anything with you,” Zach quipped.

Frankie kissed his cheek and then gave Zach a quick peck before picking the phone up again. “That’s the right attitude baby,” Frankie cheered.

“Um…so you slept…” Zach said, tentatively trying to test the waters.

Frankie cut him off, giving him a fairly stern look. “Well. I slept well,” Frankie lied. Zach was confused. He thought they’d talked about this last night and the reproachful look he got from Frankie when he broached the topic confirmed that. However, it was clear Zach wasn’t supposed to talk about it now. Maybe it was a topic Frankie only felt comfortable discussing when it was imminent and in the dark, when sometimes even Zach felt like they were the only two souls on the planet. It bothered Zach, but he couldn’t put his finger on why. He knew he’d bring it up again, but he wasn’t going to push the subject now.

“Okay…so what’s our plan today then Mr. Sunshine?” Zach joked.

“Well, the nurse already came in earlier to get my blood pressure and whatnot and she said that Dr. Hawthorn would actually be coming to see me in the afternoon instead of the morning. Apparently, he wants me to do physical therapy first so he’ll have all of the information he needs to decide if I can go home today. So I guess that means that my plan is to kick some booty in physical therapy,” Frankie explained.

“Ah. Well, aren’t you just full of fire today. I love it. Almost as much as I love you,” Zach said, whispering at the end, leaning in for another kiss that Frankie granted.

“I love you too,” Frankie replied, “But, my love, your phone has been going off with text messages for the last twenty minutes. I didn’t read them, but they’re from your mom. You better answer her.” Zach nodded, holding his hand out for his phone. Frankie closed the app he was in and handed it over. Zach had a handful of messages from his mom. She had been wondering if they were awake and if they’d eaten and when she should come. She didn’t seem upset or worried; she’d just sent each question separately, causing the number of text messages on his phone to rack up quickly.

“Oh, everything’s fine. She just has a bunch of questions. Did you eat breakfast?” Zach asked.

“I ate what I could stomach. It was pretty gross. It’s almost eleven though. It’s not really breakfast time anymore,” Frankie informed him.

“Maybe I should tell my mom to bring us lunch and she can visit until physical therapy gets here. Does that sound okay?” Zach asked.

“Sounds perfect, my love. How about we have her pick up soup from that café we like on 1st Ave? It’s not too far from here I don’t think,” Frankie answered.

“Yeah, soup sounds good. It’s cold in here,” Zach said.

“You’re cold everywhere in New York. It doesn’t matter if you’re inside or outside between September and March you’re always cold,” Frankie pointed out.

“Hey, I can’t help it if I’m still a Florida boy in my veins. You’re just lucky I tolerate New York for _you_ ,” Zach said, gently nudging Frankie’s shoulder with his own.

“What lies! You love this city, even if you won’t admit it. But that’s okay, I’ll take all the blame and reap all the rewards,” Frankie said with a wink. Zach smiled back before texting his mom about the restaurant with directions on how to get there.

Before his mom arrived, Zach got out of bed, brushed his teeth, washed his face and salvaged a hairstyle out of the bed head he’d acquired last night. Jill arrived less than an hour after he had texted her. She sat in the chair next to Zach and they talked more about Florida and Peyton and the rest of his family while they all ate lunch. Zach still got the major news in New York, but he missed a lot of the minor events and Jill was having a great time filling him in. It made Zach a little homesick. He still missed Florida. The problem was that Florida lacked the one person he couldn’t live without, so he stayed put in New York and he didn’t complain—well, not much, he hoped.

Frankie enjoyed hearing about Zach’s family’s news. They were his family now too. He’d grown close to Peyton and a few of Zach’s cousins. Now, everyone greeted him warmly and he truly felt like they actually liked him for who he was and not just because he was Zach’s husband. Certainly, being loved by Zach had gotten him in the door, but he honestly felt very comfortable with Zach’s family now.

Jill said her goodbyes and left when the same physical therapist from yesterday showed up just after 1 pm. Zach told her he’d text her later with whatever news they got from the doctor.

Physical therapy went a lot smoother this time around. Frankie was prepared. The physical therapist didn’t have to ask twice and Frankie didn’t hesitate to stand. It still hurt. It hurt a lot, but he wasn’t willing to let it limit him this time around. Frankie did his best to push away the thoughts of how much his leg ached and how occasionally it still felt like something sharp was jabbing him in the calf. He walked to the doorway with little difficulty, so they decided to walk down the hall. Zach followed at a far enough distance that he wasn’t crowding them. Truthfully, Zach was so afraid that Frankie would fall again, and although the physical therapist had handled it well yesterday, he didn’t fully trust her. Or at least, he didn’t trust her as much as he trusted himself, so he stayed as close as he dared. It turned out that he didn’t need to worry. Frankie made it down the hall just fine. Their walk back to the room might have been a little longer than the walk down the hall because Frankie got a little winded, but he never stumbled or faltered. From Zach’s perspective, it looked like things were getting better—at least physically.

Dr. Hawthorn stopped by around 3 pm. He was enthusiastic about Frankie’s progress in physical therapy. He said that there was no reason that Frankie couldn’t go home in a few hours after all the discharge paperwork had been cleared. They would send Frankie home with some pain medicine and there were already appointments set up for him to see Dr. Wilson next week and to see physical therapy on an outpatient basis three times a week for the next two weeks. They would see Dr. Hawthorn one more time in two weeks, but if things were going well, they’d be discharged from his care as well.

Zach couldn’t have been more thrilled. He wanted to go home so bad. He wanted to see Tiger. Then he momentarily worried about Tiger hurting Frankie. He was still pretty young and energetic. Tiger was big enough that he could hurt Frankie if tried to jump up on him. Zach made a mental note to keep Tiger calm and keep an eye on him around Frankie. Mostly though, Zach couldn’t wait to sleep in their bed. It would be so much more comfortable. He would sleep better. He was longing for the normalcy of their apartment. Zach watched quietly as Frankie thanked Dr. Hawthorn for his help. Zach studied Frankie’s face. Frankie was smiling at Dr. Hawthorn, telling him how excited he was to go home. Zach couldn’t help but feel that Frankie was nervous, but he could understand that. He pushed the worry from his mind, bouncing in his seat like a dog that had been promised a walk in the park.

Zach said his goodbyes to Dr. Hawthorn and expressed his thanks. Zach momentarily thought about divulging Frankie's nightmares and getting an opinion from the doctor, but Zach couldn't even imagine the amount of anger he would have to face if did that without Frankie's approval. So Zach kept quiet, trying to focus on going home. When Dr. Hawthorn was gone, Zach smiled at Frankie, his face etched with joy. “Home! We get to go home baby!” Zach enthused. He leaned over, kissing Frankie quickly.

“Yeah! It’s great!” Frankie replied. Zach couldn’t help but feel like it was forced.

“Babe, you worked for this. That’s why you pushed yourself so hard in physical therapy. I’m confused,” Zach said.

“I know. You’re right. I’m happy. I’m happy, I am. I really am. Pack up our things baby! We’re going home. I want some Tiger cuddles,” Frankie said excitedly. It was a little over-the-top. Zach knew it, but he was going to roll with it because he was excited.

“What? My cuddles aren’t good enough,” Zach pouted.

“Well…no,” Frankie said with a wink, sticking his tongue out at Zach. 

“I’ll show you cuddles,” Zach threatened, climbing on the bed and poking Frankie in the sides as he nuzzled his head into Frankie’s neck, making animal noises.

“Down _tiger_ ,” Frankie joked, growling in response and biting Zach’s neck a little bit.

“Oh, so that’s what you meant by ‘tiger’ cuddles. I got you now. You know I can handle that,” Zach joked, his eyes shining with joy. Frankie kissed Zach, allowing himself to stop thinking for just a minute until Zach pulled away, moving about the room and collecting items from every corner to put in their bags.

Frankie was worried. He knew it was kind of unreasonable. He’d worked to get to this point. He’d put himself through a lot of pain to prove he was ready. So why was he freaking out now? He couldn’t say for sure. He thought maybe he’d just gotten comfortable here. It’s not like they were doing anything else for him here that he couldn’t get at home. Deep down, although he tried to deny it, he was still a little concerned that he would be too much for Zach to handle on his own, especially if the nightmares continued like this. He didn’t want to talk about it though. So he started psyching himself up. Zach was keyed up. He was certain of that. Zach was running around like a dog that had gotten a new bone he wanted to show off to everyone. It was adorable really. 

After a few minutes, Zach returned to his chair next to Frankie. He pulled his phone out to text his mom. Zach told Frankie he should text Ari and Joan. They’d be excited. He should share the good news. Frankie did as Zach suggested, attaching a lot of happy face and heart emojis to his text before he sent it. Zach also texted Doug to inform him that they’d be home in a couple hours. He asked Doug to put Tiger in his crate ahead of time, just to be safe. Zach figured he’d get Frankie settled in one place before he let Tiger loose. That was probably the best plan. Doug was quick to respond. He seemed excited that Frankie was well enough to come home and he told Zach he’d arrange a car to drive them back to their apartment.

Zach leaned over in his seat, grabbing Frankie’s hand and smiling at him. “I can tell you’re scared, but you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met in my entire life. We’ll do this together, okay? You know I’ll be there every step of the way and whenever you want to talk about whatever is going on in that beautiful head of yours, I’m here to listen,” Zach said.

Frankie sighed a little and closed his eyes for a second before he spoke. He squeezed Zach’s hand. “You’re truly one of a kind. I promise to do just that. We’ll talk about it. Maybe just not now, okay?” Frankie asked, smiling weakly at Zach. He hoped Zach would drop it again. Just for now. He kept telling himself that: just for now. He hoped it really was just for now.

“Okay babe,” Zach answered. He kissed the back of Frankie’s hand before he got up and set to work collecting more items to pack up.

Frankie closed his eyes again. Watching Zach pack was making him tired and he was still pretty tired from his walk down the hall. It was amazing how much weaker he could feel after only a few days. He couldn’t even keep himself from getting winded by a twenty yard walk down the hallway. Frankie focused on his breathing. He was trying to keep his mind empty as he felt his body relax into sleep. His brain didn’t cooperate. First there were images of their apartment in his head as he remembered the framed pictures scattered throughout and then he was outside on the street, near an alley. In the corner of his eye he saw a group of men approaching and Frankie felt his body stiffen with fear. The next thing he knew Zach’s hand was on his shoulder and Frankie was blinking up at him.

“Hey, I think you fell asleep there for a minute. That walk must have made you more tired than you realized. Why don’t you take a nap? The doc said it’d be at least another hour until we can leave,” Zach suggested. 

Frankie shook his head adamantly and sat up in the bed, fearful of another moment overtaken by his subconscious. Frankie turned to sit on the edge of the bed and asked Zach to bring him real clothes. He needed to get dressed for the very cold weather outside. Somehow he didn’t think a tank top and shorts was going to cut it. He knew it would hurt to stand, but if he was going home, he was going to have to get used to the pain and not having a physical therapist by his side at all times. Besides, the pain would ground him in reality and keep any flashbacks at bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you're still enjoying this. I'm afraid people are getting bored. I'm planning on wrapping this story up soon...but what will happen when they finally get home? Can Zach handle everything on his own?


	13. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no place like home.

The sun had almost completely dipped beyond the horizon by the time the car that Doug had arranged for them was pulling up outside of their apartment building. The sky was a shade of purple and darkening every minute. The driver put the car in park and got out to remove their bags from the trunk. Zach got out quickly and came around to carefully help Frankie get out of the car. It was difficult, but Frankie got his feet firmly planted on the ground before he allowed Zach to help pull him up and soon enough he was standing. Zach stayed with Frankie, helping him over the curb and onto the sidewalk next to their bags.

Zach slung both of their bags over his right shoulder before he returned to Frankie’s side, wrapping his free arm around Frankie’s waist. They walked slowly to the door and it took some maneuvering to actually get through the door. Zach had to hold the door for Frankie and let him walk through on his own. It scared Zach for Frankie to walk with no support. It would be difficult for Zach to reach him in time if he tripped and fell, but there was no other way to get through the door. Zach hadn’t really thought about how going home would actually mean having to give Frankie a bit more freedom. It just wasn’t feasible for Frankie to lie in bed all day. Plus, Frankie couldn’t walk around all the time with Zach wrapped around him like a spider monkey. Zach realized that was probably more dangerous when he thought about it, but it sure did make him feel more comfortable knowing he was right there to help if necessary.

Eventually, they made it to the elevator. They waited in silence until the ding went off and the door opened. Zach wrapped his arm around Frankie again and they stepped into the elevator. When the doors closed and they started moving up the floors of the building, Frankie relaxed against Zach, resting his head against Zach’s chest and wrapping both of his arms around Zach’s middle. Zach kissed the top of Frankie’s head as they rode up in silence. When they arrived at the correct floor, Zach helped Frankie off and then told him he’d be back to help before he hurried ahead, unlocked the door, and tossed the bags to one side in the entryway. 

When Zach returned, Frankie had moved a few feet on his own and was slowly walking towards the door. Frankie thought that maybe, just maybe, his leg didn’t hurt as much now as it had earlier today, but it was hard to tell. Slow and short steps didn’t make the pain any less, but it made him worry less about falling. Zach watched as Frankie slowly made progress and the whole thing was kind of killing him—the slowness of it, the pain he knew Frankie had to be feeling, and then suddenly the fact that Frankie was basically defenseless. Zach couldn’t help but wonder if Frankie would be able to move faster if he really needed to. Zach wasn’t sure he would be and the thought sort of terrified him.

“Oh, fuck it,” Zach said, “I shouldn’t do this, but whatever.” Zach walked up, facing Frankie and bent his knees before he wrapped his arms around Frankie’s middle. Frankie reflexively wrapped his arms around Zach’s neck before Zach lifted Frankie up. Frankie squeezed his legs together at Zach’s hips, allowing Zach to carry him toward the door. Zach was extra cautious walking through the door, being careful to avoid hitting Frankie’s leg on the door or the doorframe. Zach took a few steps inside and stopped just inside the living room. He patted Frankie’s back a little bit and Frankie dropped his legs. Zach carefully set him back down on his feet and only fully let go when he was certain Frankie was steady. 

Zach quickly locked the door and when he came back he looked at Frankie who hadn’t moved, but was watching Zach curiously. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to get you inside. I know you need to walk. I know that’s best for you, but I prefer you do it in here. I know it’s safe in here,” Zach tried to explain. He knew it sounded stupid. That had been part of it, but he had also been a little frustrated with the slow pace and difficulty of maneuvering. He wasn’t going to admit that to Frankie. He felt a little pathetic, but he was impulsive. That’s who he was.

“Zach…nothing was going to attack me in that hallway. Trust me, I would have moved a lot faster if there was anything to be concerned about,” Frankie said slowly, gauging Zach’s reaction to his words.

“Yeah, well, it’s done now. Let’s not make a big deal about it. It was a free lift a few yards ahead of where you were, okay?” Zach asked. His eyes were begging Frankie to let it go. Frankie wasn’t really sure what was happening here, but honestly, he was grateful for the shorter walk. It meant less pain in the end and it’s not like those few yards were really going to make the difference in his rehabilitation. 

Frankie took a step towards Zach and leaned in to give him a quick peck. “Thanks for the lift baby,” Frankie replied. Zach’s face softened as he smiled back, relieved to move on to another subject.

They both could hear Tiger whining from the other room. He was locked in his crate that they almost never used anymore. Tiger had mellowed considerably in the past year. Since Tiger had moved to New York, they’d had to replace a bunch of pillows and more than one piece of furniture, but he was no longer treating the furniture as a chew toy. 

“Let him out,” Frankie said as he was once again slowly shuffling his feet toward the couch in the living room. He wasn’t moving very fast, but he was moving. It took most of Zach’s willpower not to go to Frankie and help him. He did, however, manage to casually stay close to Frankie, just in case his services were required at any point. Zach hoped Frankie didn’t notice, but he did. 

“Uh, no offense, but you are moving way too slow and way to precariously for me to unleash that ball of energy. He hasn’t seen us in days; he’s going to be a little crazy. When you’re seated, I’ll let him out,” Zach reasoned. 

“Fine, fine,” Frankie relented, his head looking down at the floor and his lips tight in concentration. He carefully traversed the living room and slowly turned himself around to sit on the sofa. 

Once Frankie was seated, Zach hurried to let Tiger out. Zach was pretty sure neither he nor Frankie would be able to tolerate Tiger’s whining any longer. As soon as Zach let him free, Tiger was running a quick lap around the place with his tail wagging. He returned to Zach first, jumping up and looking for attention. Zach dropped to his knees, rubbing Tiger behind the ears and telling him how much he missed him. Zach continued to pet Tiger who was turning around in small circles under Zach’s hands, essentially petting himself. After a few minutes, Zach got up and Tiger sprang ahead of him, stopping right next to Frankie. Tiger carefully smelled Frankie’s legs, cocking his head to one side at the unusual smell before he finally looked up at Frankie. Frankie patted the spot next to him and Tiger jumped up, smelling Frankie again before he nuzzled into Frankie’s hands and rubbed his face against Frankie’s chest.

Zach made his way over to the sofa, tossing his coat on one of the barstools before he sat on Frankie’s other side. Zach turned sideways watching Frankie and Tiger before he leaned in to kiss Frankie’s cheek. Zach rested one hand on Frankie’s cheek and the other on Frankie’s thigh. “Welcome home, baby,” Zach murmured before he kissed Frankie. Zach could feel himself warming up inside their apartment and slowly some of the tension he was feeling earlier was uncoiling inside of him as Frankie kissed him back.

When Zach pulled away, they both sat quietly petting Tiger who had dropped his head into Frankie’s lap. Frankie was running his hand down Tiger’s side while Zach rubbed behind his ears again. They stayed this way for a good fifteen minutes. The silence was broken by a large growl from Frankie stomach. “My stomach is in protest from lack of food,” Frankie announced.

Zach laughed and reached in his pocket for his phone. “Delivery?” Zach asked.

“Yeah, whatever you want. I’m too hungry to be picky—besides I’d probably pick everything and end up with ten times the amount of food we could actually eat,” Frankie joked.

“Chinese okay?” Zach asked.

“Perfect,” Frankie answered. Zach looked for the contact for their favorite Chinese place in his phone and called to order their usual. The man taking the order said it would be about an hour. 

In the meantime, Tiger had gotten up from the sofa and was whining at the door. _Shit_ , Zach thought, he needs to go for a walk. He had forgotten about that finer detail and how it would require him to leave Frankie alone in the apartment. Zach’s heart dropped to his stomach. It was silly, but the whole idea kind of frightened him. He had hardly left Frankie’s side since he found him and he certainly hadn’t left the building that Frankie was in. Zach quickly tried to figure out how insane he’d seem if he called Doug to ask him to take Tiger out. 

Frankie watched as Zach was staring intensely at the door and Tiger. Frankie could almost see his mind working. He was trying to figure something out and Frankie figured it had to do with the walk that Tiger was clearly begging for. Frankie waved his hand in front of Zach’s face until he shook his head a little, clearly breaking the trance. “Babe, take him outside. Are you trying to figure out how to not leave me alone?” Frankie guessed.

“Why can you read my mind?” Zach joked. 

“It’s a skill honed over many years of observing the wild ‘Zach Attack’ species in his natural habitat,” Frankie quipped. Zach smiled, leaning over to kiss Frankie quickly.

“So, I’m guessing it would be crazy for me to call Doug and see if he would do it?” Zach asked tentatively.

“YES! He’s your dog Zach. Take care of him. I will be fine. I will just sit here and watch TV. Please don’t worry. You’ll be gone like ten minutes max. I’m not made of porcelain, you know?” Frankie insisted. Zach sighed and got up, walking towards Tiger who was visibly more excited now that his walk seemed like an imminent adventure. “Wait, can you take my coat though? I don’t need to deal with this all evening,” Frankie said, pulling his arms out of the coat they’d forgotten to remove when they got home. 

Zach took Frankie’s coat and his own over to the entryway before he bundled himself up and hooked Tiger to his leash. Zach looked back at Frankie, “Ten minutes,” he said before he closed the door behind him and locked it. 

Zach and Tiger walked quickly, Zach quietly imploring Tiger to do his business so he could go back. He felt like he was tethered to Frankie and the farther away they got, the stronger the pull he felt in the pit of his stomach. All of his sense and all of his reason reassured him that Frankie was fine. It was Zach who wasn’t fine. His heart was racing and he was anxious. He wasn’t sure how long it would take for this uneasiness about being separated from Frankie to feel better, but he wished it would start now.

Frankie was alone for the first time. It was strange. It was silent. He didn’t have to pretend for anyone. He could do whatever he wanted—or at least whatever he was capable of. It was kind of freeing. It was also scary as hell—not because he was scared for himself, but he was scared of himself. He had no distractions. All he had was his own mind and that was a terrifying place lately. Frankie didn’t want to relive that night anymore, but he wasn’t sure how to move past it. Clearly, ignoring it wasn’t working. His nightmares had only been worse last night. He thought maybe he should try to explore the memories while he was awake and work through it. He vaguely felt like he’d heard that advice somewhere before on TV, like on Oprah or Dr. Phil or something. 

Frankie took a deep breath and closed his eyes, preparing himself. The memory came back easily. Fortunately, Frankie felt a little detached from it. He saw the street, lights bright as he walked along. There were darker side streets every so often. There weren’t too many people around as he got a few blocks away from Times Square. It was late. He hadn’t seen it coming when suddenly he felt hands pushing him into the nearby building. He’d stumbled when he was pushed falling head first toward the building. He’d hit the right side of his head. He hadn’t even noticed the blood at the time, but now Frankie reached up to feel the stitches that were there. He was disoriented as he turned himself around. He saw at least three men. There could’ve been more, it was hard for Frankie to be sure. Their faces were nothing more than a blur when he heard them demanding his money and other items. Now the memories were starting to feel too real, and Frankie could feel his heart quicken and his breathing become shallow.

Frankie opened his eyes, deciding he’d gone far enough for now. He could feel a sort of panic and fear creeping along and he did not want to be a wreck when Zach returned. Otherwise, he was sure Zach would start calling other people to simply walk the dog. Frankie didn’t need that. He gazed around the living room, looking at nothing in particular, just taking in the familiar surroundings. He looked at a picture from their wedding day that was hung on the wall and got lost in the memory. The picture was beautiful, but just seconds before it was taken, Tiger had broken free in the back yard and placed big muddy paw prints on Zach's white shirt. Fortunately they'd been able to hide most of it with the tuxedo jacket and some careful posing. He checked the clock on the DVR, Zach should be back soon. He was pretty sure Zach meant it when he said ten minutes. Frankie smiled at the memory of Zach’s authoritative voice forcefully spelling out exactly how long he’d be gone. Frankie thought Zach was incredible. That was an undeniable truth.

Zach returned exactly nine minutes after he left. Frankie was sitting on the couch in almost the exact same way he had been when Zach had left. Frankie saw Zach exhale heavily when he entered the door. It was as if he’d been holding his breath and preparing for some disaster behind their front door. After Zach had freed Tiger and gotten his coat and boots off, Frankie called him over. Zach approached, smiling at Frankie as he walked. Frankie scooted himself from the middle of the couch to one end and Zach sat down next to him. Frankie ran his hands up to play with Zach’s hair, telling him to relax. Frankie opened his arms and Zach quickly swung his legs up on the couch and rested his head on Frankie’s lap. Frankie’s hands returned to Zach’s hair and occasionally rubbed his ear or his back.

They stayed that way until the buzzer went off with the deliveryman requesting entrance. Zach buzzed him up, paid for the order, and brought a carton of Frankie’s favorite to him. Zach turned on the TV. He didn’t much care for TV, but he found reruns of an old sitcom and they watched as they ate. When they were done, Zach cleaned up. When Zach was returning to the couch, he noticed Frankie yawning. “Tired babe?” Zach asked.

“Yeah. Is it too early for bed?” Frankie asked.

“Never,” Zach replied. Zach stepped forward, wanting to help Frankie stand up, but Frankie shook his head slightly, so Zach just stayed nearby and watched as Frankie carefully managed to get himself up from the couch. Frankie walked toward the bedroom and Tiger bounded ahead of him, jumping up onto the bed. Zach followed behind Frankie, turning off lights as he went. Frankie stopped by his side of the bed. He was too tired to change into something to sleep in, so he just took his shirt and pants off before carefully climbing into bed in only his underwear. Tiger was curled at the bottom of the bed, near Frankie’s feet. Zach gathered Frankie’s dirty clothes, carrying them to the hamper.

“Love, you don’t have to clean up after me. I would’ve done that in the morning,” Frankie protested.

“Normally, that would drive you crazy,” Zach replied, shaking his head a little. “I don’t mind picking up after you while you’re still healing babe. Let me take care of you,” Zach said earnestly. Frankie only nodded, resting back against his pillow. Zach slipped his own pants and shirt off before climbing in bed beside Frankie. He scooted closer to Frankie who gratefully laid his head on Zach’s chest. Zach began rubbing his back. 

“I love you,” Frankie said. Zach could feel Frankie’s warm breath ghost across his bare chest. It felt nice.

“I love you too,” Zach said. This was how it was supposed to be Frankie thought to himself, trying to push away the piece of his mind worrying about what would happen when he fell asleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're home! And Tiger finally reappears! Possibly a rough night ahead...
> 
> Did you like this chapter?? I hope you're still enjoying the story...I'm thinking there will only be 2 more chapters.


	14. Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage.

It was silent. The room was plunged in a velvety darkness that coated every surface, except for the tiny sliver of light cutting its way through the crack in the curtains drawn across the bedroom window. The silver light stretched from the window across the floor and up the side of the bed before traveling across Zach’s bare torso and skimming over the top of Frankie’s hair. The beam continued, arching over an unused pillow and stopping on the wall above their bed. Outside, the world was mostly asleep. New York was as quiet as it got in the early hours of the morning. Lights and sounds still abound, but few people awake to see and hear them. Tiger was stretched out at the end of the bed, just below their feet. His breathing was even and his dreams occasionally eliciting the movement of his legs.

In his sleep, Zach hadn’t moved very much. He was still lying on his back, his head now angled towards his right, facing the window. His left arm that had been rubbing Frankie’s back had fallen to the wayside and was stretched across an empty expanse of the bed. His chest moved rhythmically with slow and steady breaths. Frankie had rolled away from Zach in his sleep. He was on his side, back to Zach, with his legs curled up closer to his body. His head was on the bed, Zach’s arm resting just above his head, and Frankie’s abandoned pillow beyond that. The top of Frankie’s hair brushed Zach’s arm occasionally when he moved. Frankie’s eyes were closed, but it was easy to see how they darted back and forth behind his eyelids. Frankie’s arms were held close to his body. Occasionally, his muscles would tense and his body would look rigid before they’d relax again. It was an ongoing cycle.

Frankie’s eyes snapped open. The room was too dark to really see anything beyond the tiny bit of light on the wall. None of it was comforting or reassuring. He sat up in the bed, a strangled cry coming from his chest that he tried to stop when he finally remembered where he was. The room was coming into focus, the picture of him and Zach on the bedside table becoming familiar. He felt Tiger stir at his feet. He knew it was too late when he felt Zach’s arms wrap around his middle. Frankie hung his head forward. He felt ashamed, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to explain why.

Zach had heard the sound first. It didn’t even really sound human, but he knew it had to be Frankie when his eyes opened to see Frankie sitting up in the bed, the darkness blurring the lines of his silhouette. It wasn’t so much a thoughtful action, but an instinct when he sat himself up and wrapped his arms around Frankie. It took his mind a minute to catch up and remember the nightmares Frankie had been having. He’d been sleeping so soundly that his mind was still filled with fog. He glanced at the alarm clock on his nightstand and it read 3:23 am. They’d been asleep for at least five hours, probably more. Zach was honestly a little surprised they’d gotten that much sleep before a nightmare had hit, but he wasn’t about to say that to Frankie. Instead, he squeezed Frankie tighter, softly whispering, “It’s ok Frankie. I’ve got you. Nothing can hurt you here.”

Frankie honestly didn’t know what to say. He was starting to feel defeated. He wasn’t used to this; that was for sure. He usually didn’t find it hard to be mentally tough. At least, he usually bounced back way faster than this. He’d thought walking through the memory in his mind would help, but he wasn’t sure it had. The nightmare he had wasn’t even really a flashback this time. Nothing in this nightmare was anything he’d actually lived. In his dream, he’d been running in the darkness. He couldn’t see where he was going; all he could do was hope he didn’t trip. There were loud footsteps and yelling behind him, chasing him down wherever he was supposed to be. When he’d finally been caught, a fist connecting with the side of his head, he’d awoken. His heart was still racing. He felt like he’d just run a sprint far further than you’re supposed to and his body seemed to be having a hard time returning to normal. The adrenaline was refusing to let go of his body.

Frankie’s eyes were becoming accustomed to the darkness. He could see more now. He slowly picked his head up, surveying the bedroom he’d known for years. It was unchanged. Tiger had moved at this point, curling up next to Frankie’s left thigh. Zach still clung to Frankie. Frankie wasn’t sure if that was for him or for Zach. Either way, he liked it. Frankie turned his head to the side, into Zach’s chest, and gave a soft sigh. He rested his hands on top of Zach’s arms that were crossed over Frankie’s stomach. 

“Frankie?” Zach asked, tentative, but still loud enough to require an answer. Frankie looked up at him, shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head a little before he returned his head to its previous position.

This wasn’t good enough for Zach. He knew Frankie was hurting. He knew things had happened. He still didn’t know exactly what had happened, but he knew it was enough to give Frankie nightmares and make him afraid to even talk about it. Zach was tired of it. It wasn’t fair. Frankie shouldn’t be left with this. He was the victim. He didn’t do anything wrong. Not only was it hurting Frankie, it was hurting him. He knew Frankie thought he was protecting him, but he was hurting him. He felt shut out. All he wanted to do was help. No matter what form that took, he wanted to help. They weren’t moving forward, if anything they were moving backwards. 

Zach’s arms loosened around Frankie. He reached across, grabbing both of Frankie’s thighs and pulling them over and up across his lap. Frankie didn’t object. In fact, he helped Zach reposition him, carefully laying his left leg over Zach. Frankie thought they were done, but Zach had other ideas when he began to scoot closer, pulling Frankie’s hips up and over, so that Frankie was now sitting sideways on Zach’s lap. Zach placed his right hand across Frankie to rest on his left thigh. Zach’s left hand resting gently on Frankie’s lower back. Frankie felt like it was comforting and reassuring, but he couldn’t help the feeling that he was also about to be pushed off of the edge of the emotional cliff he was teetering on. He felt like he was staring down at the canyon, one foot already poised over nothingness. All it would take was a blow of the wind and he’d fall. He didn’t know what would happen when he did.

“Frankie. Look at me,” Zach instructed. Frankie did as he was asked. Looking into Zach’s eyes in the darkness. He couldn’t make out their color in this lighting. Were his eyes the beautiful green, cool gray, or warm brown that he seemed to cycle through on a daily basis? It didn’t mean anything, he supposed, but Frankie was curious nonetheless. Zach returned Frankie’s gaze, feeling bolder than he had just hours ago.

“Talk to me. Tell me what is happening. You have to,” Zach pleaded. His voice was more authoritative that he thought it would be, but it was still a request. He needed to break this wall. It wasn’t going to work for either of them. He could never stop loving Frankie, but he wanted to love him for everything he is, including all of his fears. Zach was certain he knew everything there was to know about Frankie before, but now there was something new and it was killing him to be in the dark. Zach squeezed Frankie’s thigh, waiting for him to speak. 

Frankie’s mind was reeling. He didn’t want to do this. Not now. Not ever. Well, maybe not ever. He just didn’t know. He saw the beseeching look in Zach’s face. He suddenly felt like he was hurting Zach. He hadn’t seen it that way before. He’d only worried about protecting Zach. Maybe keeping Zach out wasn’t protecting him, but was hurting him? Frankie hadn’t really ever had anything to hide from Zach before other than silly surprises, so he wasn’t sure what to do. It was all so new, but the look on Zach’s face was hard to take it. The strain in Zach’s voice, covered by an air of authority that was more bravado than real was too much. It probably took him a full minute to respond, but Frankie finally answered, “Zach.” 

Frankie couldn’t get anything else out. His eyes filled with tears and his body crumpled against Zach’s. Zach pulled him closer. He wrapped his left arm around Frankie, using his right hand to smooth Frankie’s hair. Zach liked comforting Frankie. It made him feel useful and needed. Frankie always made him feel that way, but this was very different. He’d never been _truly needed_ , in this way, by Frankie. He wasn’t going to back down just because Frankie was breaking down. He thought maybe they needed to crash and burn before they could rise again. 

“Frankie. I need you to talk to me,” Zach tried again. His voice was steady, his arms comforting but firm around Frankie. Frankie sniffled against Zach’s chest, wiping his own eyes. Frankie’s breathing evened out and he looked up at Zach once again.

“I’m scared,” Frankie whispered. His voice trembled. Zach didn’t say anything; he just continued to watch, reading the lines on Frankie’s face, as he seemed to figure out what to do next. He couldn’t quite tell what Frankie was thinking about, but he figured it didn’t matter. Zach was kind of like a dog with a bone at this point. He was going to get Frankie to talk no matter what and it wasn’t like Frankie could run away from him.

Frankie was weighing the options in his mind. He couldn’t lie to Zach. No good would come of that. He also didn’t know what words were actually going to make anything better. His heart beat started to speed up again. It was like he could feel the wind picking up around him, threatening to throw him off the cliff. Zach was going to push him over the edge. He didn’t want to know what they’d find at the bottom after the long fall down. He wasn’t sure there was even a bottom to be found.

“I don’t know what to say,” Frankie mumbled, trying to keep his eyes locked on Zach’s. It was hard to look him in the eye right now. Frankie wasn’t sure why. He wasn’t lying. He wasn’t hiding anything—well, not intentionally. It’s not like he didn’t want Zach to understand, he just didn’t know how to make him understand and he didn’t want to say the wrong thing. 

“Babe. Stop. Stop thinking. You’re thinking too much. I can see it written on your face. Talk to me. Tell me something. Anything! Don’t shut me out. You can’t shut me out. Let me in. Please,” Zach implored. Frankie’s eyes softened. He reached out, touching Zach’s cheek, letting his fingers linger there. He moved his other hand up, rubbing Zach’s ear in the way he’d always done to comfort Zach, but it was a comfort to him too. Zach’s expression didn’t change. He continued to look at Frankie, a question burning in his eyes.

“I-I don’t know where to start. I don’t know what to tell you. My mind doesn’t work the way it used to,” Frankie stuttered, trying to explain why he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He felt his mind solidifying on that one idea. He couldn’t. It felt safe. Now, he felt more solid on the edge of the cliff, his other foot firmly on the ground too. He couldn’t. That was it. That was simply it. He couldn’t.

“Yes, you do. Tell me everything. Start with our phone call that night. Tell me everything. From the second we hung up to this moment right now. What happened? What were you thinking? What are you feeling? Tell me. We can only make it through this if you tell me. You can. You can tell me everything,” Zach stated. It wasn’t a question anymore. It was a fact. Frankie felt it. He knew it. He hated it. He probably only hated it because he was scared. He couldn’t deny it anymore or try to ignore it. He couldn’t push it off to some ‘tomorrow’ he wasn’t sure would ever actually arrive. He had to at least try. He shouldn’t be scared to talk to Zach and maybe it would help, he had no way to know unless he gave it a shot.

It was like Frankie could feel the ground beneath him shake when he made his decision. It had been so steady just seconds ago, but now it was crumbling and he was going to fall over the edge, no matter what. Frankie took a deep breath, looking over the edge of the cliff. It was never ending. He was certain there was no end to the nothingness below. He took a moment, gathered his courage, and determined it was best to step off the cliff himself instead of falling. He set his foot forward, off the cliff. When his foot hit the air, his body began tumbling with the feeling of weightlessness filling his stomach. He said, “Okay, I will tell you everything—everything from that night and beyond. No holds barred.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for what's next? Off the cliff into nothingness...


	15. Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All healing is essentially a release from fear.

Frankie started slowly, carefully trying to recall what had happened to him. He explained how he’d ended the call with Zach while he was still walking up along the street in Times Square. There were millions of bright shining lights. People were still out in Times Square. It wasn’t overwhelmingly populated, but he certainly wasn’t alone. After a few more blocks, he’d turned west, heading for their apartment. Frankie had a particular route that he always took when he walked home. He usually didn’t deviate much from it other than for construction or other occurrences. That night, his normal route was unchanged, so he turned where he usually did. 

Zach was silent. He continued to hold Frankie on his lap, both arms resting lightly around Frankie. Zach was listening intently to every word Frankie said. Zach watched Frankie, the strip of moonlight from the crack in the curtains now cutting across Frankie’s chest. Frankie's face didn't betray too much emotion. Zach knew this was hard for Frankie. If the amount of persuasion he had to use to get him to open up wasn’t telling enough, Frankie didn’t even look at him while he talked. Frankie seemed to be focused, or maybe unfocused, on something in the far corner of the dim room. He kept talking though. Occasionally he’d look down at his hands, resting in his lap. He didn’t look at Zach though. Zach tried to keep a straight face as he listened. He didn’t want Frankie to see him looking even a little upset when he finally looked at him. Zach knew he would eventually. Zach knew him well enough to know that at some point, Frankie would look up, looking for the comfort and understanding that Zach was ready to provide. 

Frankie continued, recounting how he hadn’t seen it coming when the first man to reach him had pushed him and he’d hit his head on the building nearby. Again, Frankie reached up to feel the stitches on the right side of his head. Zach sat staring at the stitches after Frankie had explained the cause of the injury. It made Zach angry. It was beyond cowardly to attack an innocent man from behind. Zach fought his anger, trying to remain calm and focus on Frankie, but he found himself squinting in the dark, trying to count the stitches. There were right in front of his face, basically at eye level. He could see how the thread was a shade of blue. He started counting them, using the counting as a method to soothe his anger. He counted nine. He wasn’t sure if that was right, given the poor lighting, but it didn’t really matter. Zach leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss behind Frankie’s right ear and then another, on the right side of Frankie’s head, right below the stitches. Frankie didn’t even acknowledge Zach's motions. He seemed too lost in his story to focus on what was happening in the real world right now.

Frankie had continued his story while Zach was busy focusing on the stitches. He heard Frankie talk about feeling disoriented after hitting his head and how he thought there were three men, but he couldn’t be certain. Frankie told Zach that was no way he’d ever be able to identify any of them, it was all too fast and too confusing at the time. He recalled in as much detail as he could remember how they’d demanded his wallet first. Frankie had his wallet in a pocket of his coat. His phone was stowed in a pants pocket. The muggers had never even asked for his phone. Zach thought that was kind of odd, until he remembered that he’d eventually traced Frankie’s location via his phone’s GPS. Frankie explained how he’d retrieved his wallet and handed it over without objection. 

Frankie was still staring into the corner of the room. Tiger had moved closer to the pair now. He was laying next to Zach’s legs, his head resting on one of them, very close to where Frankie sat. Frankie absentmindedly dropped a hand to pet Tiger’s head. Frankie continued, saying that they were yelling at him for more. Frankie explained that he heard the word jewelry and looked down at his hand, noticing that he was wearing his gloves and that his wedding ring wasn’t noticeable with them on. Frankie had feared he’d stared at his hands too long, so that they’d wonder if there was a ring, when they continued to demand jewelry. Frankie recounted how he hadn’t even remembered he was wearing an old necklace of his. It wasn’t worth very much and he would’ve gladly given it to them if he’d realized that’s what they were talking about.

Instead, Frankie told Zach how he’d just looked back at them without understanding. Then he was pushed around by the men. They got in a few good hits before Frankie was against the wall, the back of his head hitting again and further disorienting him. Somewhere along the way they’d taken the necklace from around Frankie’s neck. He couldn’t recall exactly how it happened now. Frankie recounted how he vaguely remembered hearing a man shouting in their direction. Frankie had tried to walk away from the wall, but his balance and vision wasn’t exactly perfect. He’d stumbled on the sidewalk, closer to the street. As the men who had surrounded him turned to run, one of them pushed him one last time as they passed.

Zach braced himself for the part of the story he knew was coming next. Sure, getting mugged and beaten was horrible enough, but adding the accident with the car was just insult to injury. Zach wasn’t sure he wanted to hear this part, but he knew he had to. He had to know. If he went another day without knowing it would eat him alive. All he’d wanted since Frankie didn’t show up on time that night was to know why and he was finally finding out. Zach pressed his forehead into the corner of Frankie’s right shoulder, taking calm and deep breaths as he waited for Frankie to finish the story. Frankie wasn’t even thinking as he told the story, he was kind of on autopilot. He was just speaking out loud the things he could see in his head.

Frankie relayed, “I’m not sure exactly how it happened, but after they pushed me, I stumbled and I remember stepping off of the sidewalk. I remember thinking that this can’t be good in the second before I was knocked to the ground. My leg hurt instantly. The pain was overwhelming and then when I fell onto my side, I had a new pain in my chest. I hit my head again on the pavement. All of the pain was so intense. Honestly, I’m surprised I didn’t pass out immediately. However, I distinctly remember having a few images flash in my mind. I saw my family, my friends, and, of course, you. If I am remembering correctly, the last thing I thought about before I passed out was you, asleep in our bed.”

That was when Frankie finally turned to look at Zach, whose head was still down against Frankie’s shoulder. Zach felt Frankie’s hand run through his hair and he looked up, a little startled to see Frankie looking at him so intently. Frankie leaned forward, kissing Zach once. Zach smiled back at him, planting a kiss on Frankie’s shoulder. Zach grabbed Frankie’s head between both of his hands and pressed their foreheads together for a minute before kissing Frankie softly and pulling away.

“Then, I passed out and when I woke up again you were holding my hand,” Frankie concluded with a small shrug. Zach nodded at Frankie, squeezing his arms tighter around him. Frankie, who was still sitting sideways across Zach’s lap, carefully moved himself around, settling in between Zach’s legs with his back against Zach’s chest. Zach rested his chin on Frankie’s shoulder.

“Thanks for telling me all of that babe,” Zach murmured.

“No thanks required. I should’ve told you all of that yesterday or even the day before. I don’t know, but I should have told you without you having to practical demand it from me. I was scared,” Frankie mumbled at the end.

“It’s okay to be scared. I just want you to know that when you are, I’ll be here for you. Always, okay?” Zach asked.

Frankie nodded in response. He yawned a little and Zach laughed. “Yeah, I’m exhausted too babe. We can still get a few more hours before your physical therapy tomorrow if we go to bed now,” Zach added.

Frankie hummed in assent. Zach moved over to the side and lay on his back so that Frankie could lay his head down against Zach’s chest. Frankie did just that, fitting against Zach like he’d been doing for years. Frankie felt a little lighter now. The burden he’d been caring was shared now. He didn’t even remember why he’d been afraid to share it before. He should never have been. Zach would always be there to share whatever it was that Frankie had to go through—good or bad. In that moment, Frankie was incredibly thankful that Zach had agreed to be his husband and spend the rest of his life with him. 

Zach had a newfound appreciation for Frankie’s nightmares. The whole thing was frightening. He knew it would be, but adding the level of disorientation and confusion made Zach see how it could get so easily amplified in Frankie’s mind. Zach could only hope that getting Frankie to talk to him would help in the end. He wasn’t certain if it would, but he had hope.

When Zach and Frankie awoke to Zach’s alarm at the same time the next morning, they were both feeling a little under rested. Zach whined about mornings like he always did when he was forced to get up before he wanted to. Frankie was actually fairly cheery. He wasn’t going to bring it up, but he didn’t have another nightmare after they’d gone back to bed. The pair slowly made their way through the morning, getting dressed and eating breakfast. Zach even took Tiger for a walk with less fuss than before. It seemed easier to do after he’d already left Frankie alone once before. They rode in a taxi to physical therapy, hands clasped and conversation light. Frankie was starting to feel like he was slipping back into his normal routine—even if that routine included physical therapy instead of dance rehearsals. 

Physical therapy went well, and both Frankie and Zach were encouraged to see the progress he was making. With Frankie slowly rebuilding his strength and the pain gradually fading, he was able to walk further and with less assistance than before. Their new physical therapist informed them that he only expected their sessions to last a few weeks before Frankie would no longer require his services.

After leaving physical therapy, they returned home. Jill called after they’d gotten home and Frankie told Zach to invite her over. She was planning to leave the next day. When she arrived, Frankie convinced Zach to go to his office for a few hours. He hadn’t been in days and was clearly ignoring all of the work and emails that Frankie knew had to be piling up. Zach relented, only because Jill would be with Frankie. As soon as Zach left, Frankie turned to Jill asking if they could cook for Zach. He wanted to make him dinner, as a sort of thank you for all that he’d done for Frankie lately. Jill agreed. She made a quick run to a nearby market to pick up some ingredients and they spent the next few hours cooking together. They had a fun time, exchanging stories about Zach.

The food was basically ready by the time Zach texted Frankie telling him he was on his way home. Jill told Frankie that she was going to head back to her hotel, but that she would stop by to see them again in the morning on her way to the airport. Frankie protested, insisting Jill stay for dinner after all the work she’d done. Jill declined again, telling Frankie she wanted Zach to have a relaxing night and she didn’t want to intrude. When she left, Frankie gave her a long hug, thanking her for everything she did today and all of the support she provided over the last few days. 

Zach arrived home about twenty minutes after Jill left. Zach greeted Tiger at the door before coming into the kitchen where Frankie was plating their meal. He pointed towards the dining table, which he’d already set with their silverware. Zach picked up the plates and carried them to the table. Frankie followed, but before he could take his seat, Zach pulled him close, wrapping his arms around Frankie and leaning down to kiss him. 

“You made me dinner…with my mom’s help?” Zach teased.

“Yeah…don’t get used to it mister,” Frankie retorted, playfully jabbing his finger at Zach’s chest. 

Frankie kissed Zach again, deepening the kiss. After a bit, Frankie pulled back to look into Zach’s eyes, and confessed, “I wanted to do this as a thank you for all that you’ve done. You are amazing. The way that you care for me and support me even when I’m a complete mess is unbelievable. I truly believe there is no one else like you in the world. I am beyond lucky to have you. The way that I love you has never been expressed in words and I don’t think it ever could be.”

“I love you just the same,” Zach whispered, kissing Frankie quickly before breaking the embrace and sitting down. Frankie joined him at the table before Zach instantly started cracking jokes about people at work. Frankie smiled, happy to see Zach doing something other than worry about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I did this chapter justice. Let me know if you liked it.
> 
> Okay, so this concludes the main story. I have had an epilogue that's been writing itself in my head since chapter 4 or 5. If you all want it, let me know. I will add it to this story if you do.


	16. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says, I survived.

3 years later

Frankie had just finished putting the last dish in the dishwasher when he felt Zach’s arms wrap about his middle. Zach kissed the back of Frankie’s neck and Frankie leaned into him, relaxing against Zach’s chest. Zach tightened his grip, planting kisses along the side of Frankie’s neck. Frankie tilted his head, allowing Zach easier access to the delicate flesh. Zach took advantage and went directly for Frankie’s most sensitive spot. Frankie’s eyes closed as he let out a soft groan before turning in Zach’s arms and connecting their lips. The kiss was soft, but insistent. 

Zach bent his knees a little so that he could pick Frankie up. Frankie wrapped his legs around Zach’s waist and his arms were around Zach’s neck as Zach walked towards their bedroom. When they made it inside the room, Frankie gripped Zach’s hair, deepening the kiss, making his intentions perfectly clear. Zach kicked the door shut and continued forward until he’d dropped Frankie onto their bed. 

Zach quickly climbed on top of Frankie, continuing their kiss and sliding his hand under Frankie’s shirt. Frankie didn’t resist at all. He was going to let Zach take the lead tonight; after all, he’d been the instigator. Zach broke the kiss, pulling Frankie’s shirt off of him. Instead of returning to Frankie’s lips, Zach began kissing along Frankie’s collarbone and down to his chest, giving each nipple special attention. Frankie’s soft moans only encouraged him further. 

Zach looked up at Frankie who was watching him with hooded eyes and smiled softly, leaning up to kiss him again. “I love you,” Zach whispered against Frankie’s lips.

Frankie smiled and kissed Zach, one hand tugging on Zach’s hair again. “I love you too,” Frankie whispered against Zach’s ear, his teeth catching on Zach’s earlobe and pulling tenderly. Frankie ran his hands under Zach’s shirt and was grateful when Zach pulled it over his head. Frankie’s lips found Zach’s neck now, eliciting a delicious moan from Zach.

Zach was too lost in the sensation to notice, but Frankie pulled back suddenly and paused, listening. There was only a quiet whine at first followed by a shrill cry. Zach gave out an exasperated groan, rolling off of Frankie and landing on his back.

“Every damn time,” Zach lamented. His head thrown back in frustration and his fists clenched at his sides. Zach took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He felt his frustration slowly dissipating when Frankie kissed him on the cheek, his hand lingering down Zach’s torso.

“She sure does have rotten timing…do you think she has some sort of sixth sense and can tell when Daddy is about to get lucky?” Frankie joked, sitting up to grab the baby monitor off of the bedside table and turn the volume down. 

Zach nodded in agreement, “I think she is fully aware of what she’s doing to me,” he said succinctly, a small smile playing on his lips. Zach sat up again, placing kisses along the back of Frankie’s bare shoulder.

Frankie shook his head lightly. “Don’t start,” Frankie reprimanded, “One of us has to go settle her down again. I bet she needs her diaper changed.” He turned, looking at Zach’s beautiful eyes, somewhere between green and grey tonight. Frankie planted a quick peck on his lips before announcing, “I’ll do it. You stay here.”

When Frankie reached their bedroom door, he looked back. “Keep looking sexy,” he added with a wink before he was gone. Zach groaned at the teasing as he fell back to the bed again with nothing to do but wait.

Frankie walked across the hall in their apartment, opening the nursery door to another shrill cry. He walked over to the crib, cooing as he approached, “Oh, my baby girl. What’s wrong little Avery?” Frankie leaned over the crib, carefully picking her up, rocking her back and forth in his arms. She continued to cry, but it was quieter now. Her diaper felt full so he moved her over to their changing table and quickly removed the dirty diaper, replacing it with a clean one. 

After Frankie had changed her, he stood by the crib, rocking her back and forth a few more times. Avery was eight months old now. She could put herself to sleep pretty well by now, but Frankie wanted to hold her for just a minute longer. This was Frankie’s night off. He didn’t get many nights off anymore. He was busy performing, rehearsing, or meeting with his fellow producers almost every night of the week. His work was all consuming, but he loved it. He just wished he had more time to spend with his daughter before she was all grown and he missed everything. He did his best though. Whenever he wasn’t working, he was with Zach and Avery.

Frankie decided taking a little time with Avery right now would be okay. He walked over to the rocking chair in the corner and sat down, slowly rocking as Avery settled down in his arms, her face serene. Frankie found himself remembering the day she was born. He and Zach had been a nervous wreck—really, they were a hot mess. Frankie was so thankful that their surrogate was such a calm woman. She really had it all together and once Frankie and Zach made it to the hospital, she’d been a calming influence on them. She was a saint—Frankie was sure of it. 

Everyone had come to New York that week to await the birth of their daughter. Joan, Ari, Jill, Kevin, and Peyton had all come. Frankie’s dad and brother had been around those first few days in the hospital too. Thankfully, naming their daughter had been one of their easier tasks. They had found the name Avery in a baby names book late one night and they’d instantly loved it. Both Zach and Frankie wanted a family name for the middle name, but they couldn't find one they both liked and they didn't want to choose one side of the family over the other. So, they’d compromised and chosen to honor both of their mothers by using their first initial: Avery Jaye Grande-Rance.

Zach and Frankie had spent months and months searching for the right egg donor and the right surrogate before they’d finally settled on one. The whole process had taken longer than they had thought it would. It had been about six months after Frankie’s “accident” when they’d started talking about kids again. Zach was even more desperate to have a child now. He wasn’t sure why, but somehow, almost losing Frankie made him want to hold on even harder. Frankie had jumped at the opportunity that Zach was offering. 

Despite Frankie’s repeated insistence that the child be biologically Zach’s, Zach had refused. He told Frankie that he wanted the child—their child—to be Frankie’s biologically. Zach claimed he would be the biological father of their next child, but that this time it was to be Frankie’s. They fought over it for a month before Zach finally admitted that he knew that if their baby was Frankie’s, at least in part, that he would always have a piece of Frankie with him, no matter what happened. Frankie couldn’t argue with him anymore after that. Despite all of the talking they’d done about “the accident”, as they referred to it, Zach had never fully shaken the memory of the desperation he felt when he thought he might have lost Frankie.

Frankie had been changed by the accident too. After weeks of physical therapy, Frankie had been cleared by all of the doctors and was back to his regular routine—almost. For the first few months when he went back to work, he would take a taxi or the subway from work back to the apartment. Eventually, he started walking home again. He had always found walking to be more pleasant than the subway and it just took a little longer. However, he never returned to his former “regular" route home. 

Frankie’s nightmares took almost a year to stop. They dropped off dramatically after he returned home from the hospital and he was able to really talk to Zach about everything that had happened. However, he still had nightly nightmares for a month or so until they faded to once a week just a few months after that. He was essentially nightmare free after a year, but one still creeps in on occasion. Currently, it has been six months since he has had a nightmare about that night. Frankie was extremely grateful for Zach throughout it all. Zach was always there to comfort him. Even now, Frankie knew that if he awoke in the middle of the night from yet another nightmare of that night, that Zach would hold him close and rub his back until he fell asleep. Frankie wasn’t sure how he’d managed to find someone like Zach, but he was incredibly thankful.

Frankie sat, rocking in the chair and watching Avery’s face. He was mesmerized by the cute pucker she made with her lips, and the way she'd scrunch up her tiny nose. He leaned down, planting a quick kiss on her forehead. She was definitely ready for bed again, so Frankie got up, bouncing a few more times with Avery in his arms. 

Zach had gotten restless in bed and quietly padded across the hall to the nursery. He peeked around the doorway, watching Frankie rocking Avery in his arms. Zach shouldered a lot of the child care responsibilities due to Frankie's work schedule, but he knew exactly how much Frankie loved their daughter. Watching them together was one of his favorite things. He'd always loved watching Frankie do anything, the feeling was intensified when Avery was involved too. Frankie stood with his back to Zach as he softly sang a lullaby to Avery. Zach listened, admiring Frankie's singing voice as he approached from behind. For the second time that night, Frankie felt Zach’s arms wrap around his middle. Zach’s chin dropped to Frankie’s shoulder, watching their baby girl. “How’s my little Avie?” Zach cooed, using the nickname he’d picked up recently. Frankie wasn’t sure about it yet, but he was willing to let Zach test it out. 

“I think she’s wondering why her Daddy hasn’t let her go back to sleep yet,” Frankie mused, leaning back in Zach’s arms again.

“Oh, but that’s such an easy answer Avie, clearly he’d rather be here rocking you than in bed with his husband who was trying very, um, _hard_ to wait oh-so-patiently,” Zach asserted, planting a kiss against Frankie’s neck again. Frankie rolled his eyes at Zach’s obviousness and playfully pushed his backside back into Zach who responded by pulling Frankie tighter to him. 

“You know, you better start watching what you say mister. She’s going to start talking soon. Sure it’ll just be babble at first, but you better believe that I’m going to fully claim it when she says da-da,” Frankie chuckled.

“Oh, yeah? Well you have another thing coming then because I’m pretty sure she’s going to mean me,” Zach teased.

Frankie laughed. “Well, I guess the best part is that we both get to claim it, Daddy,” Frankie intoned, using his Marilyn voice. Zach kissed Frankie’s cheek in response.

Avery yawned and stretched a little. Zach and Frankie smiled at the funny face she made. Frankie moved forward to the side of the crib. Zach let go as Frankie carefully placed her back on the mattress.

They stood gazing at her for a few seconds longer, Zach pressing a kiss to the right side of Frankie’s head. “You know, she’s just as beautiful and perfect as her Daddy,” Zach whispered.

“Yeah, well, I think she learned how to be a loud mouth from her other Daddy,” Frankie joked, shoving Zach’s shoulder playfully. 

Zach rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms around Frankie again as he made his way outside of the nursery, pulling Frankie with him. "Well, let's put that mouth to good use, Daddy," Zach suggested, using his own Marilyn voice. Once in the hallway, Frankie shut the door quietly before laughing as Zach continued to pull him back to their bedroom. 

Once inside their bedroom, Zach pulled Frankie onto the bed again, his lips finding Frankie’s. Frankie deepened the kiss, tasting Zach’s mouth. Zach didn’t waste any time showing Frankie just how much he wanted him. When they finished, Frankie collapsed across Zach’s chest, fully spent and sated. Zach ran his fingers along Frankie’s back with one hand, the other found its way into Frankie’s hair, gently combing his fingers through it. 

Frankie sighed softly, feeling Zach’s hand repeat the pattern it had been making for the last three years. Zach gently ran his hand through Frankie's hair, occasionally brushing his fingertips over the scar that was easily felt beneath the hair on the right side of Frankie’s head. Frankie had never asked Zach why he did that. He supposed he didn’t want Zach to know that he knew what Zach was doing, or at least he didn’t feel the need to bring attention to it. Meanwhile, Zach felt the scarred skin below his fingers for another night. The scar didn’t make him sad anymore like it used to. Now, it just reminded him of everything he had in his life. It reminded him not to take a single day for granted. Anything and everything he loved could be taken in the blink of an eye. He was determined to cherish what he had everyday, just to be certain that if there was a twist of fate, that he would never regret a lost day.

Zach pressed a kiss to the top of Frankie’s head, lying back and closing his eyes, ready for sleep to overtake him. “I love you, Franklin. You know that?” Zach mumbled.

Frankie turned his head, kissing Zach’s chest once before he answered. “I’ve never known anything with more certainty. I love you too, Zachary,” Frankie replied, settling down against Zach with an arm across his torso and slowly drifting to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End. Thank you for reading this story!


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